OKAY! Hello hello HELLOOOO people of the world! Well hello you! :D

I, Nurulhuda Rasid here, is incredibly happy! Ecstatic! Elated! SCREAMING LIKE A FREAKIN' BLONDE EVEN! Whyohwhy, I hear you cry? Well, I'll tell you later! And you gundus! If you're just gonna scroll all the way down, then I've got this to say to you - YOU'RE NO FUN! (: Ohmygod. I swear I just totally 100% flipped 360 degrees when I heard it! (Figuratively of course. What, you NUTS?!)

Gosh oh gosh. I told you I'm totally *up there* right now! MAN!

Taking a deep deeeeep deeeeeeeeep breath here... AHHHHH... Now, I can breathe. I think. *rubs face with both hands; cos I do that whenever I feel far too overwhelmed by any kind of emotion and I'm actually given the privilege to fully express it*

Anyway, so Cedar NPCC Annual Camp 2005 has come to a close. Let's just say that really was a maelstrom of emotions and leave it at that, alright? (:

This morning, I actually obeyed Najib and Co. and dragged my lazy tired ass down to Bedok! And I mean morning morning. Like at 8.30 they bloody called me up! I came late of course. Hey, I was tired! And not entirely satisfied with 14 hours of sleep!

So I only met up with them ard 9.30 at BK. Then after crapping for a bit, decided to play pool! MAN! That was uber cool. The atmosphere feels bad and illegal! Cos of the freaking blue-ish, dim-ish lights! It gave the completely underground creepy, uneasy feeling. The only thing missing, like what Mud mentioned, was the alcohol and the smoke. It's legal btw. So very legal, and no, I'm not being sarcastic here.

Apart from Mud, the 3 of us pretty much SUCKED big time. Thank god we were both a team, else it would be rather hopeless! (: Sigh. As Charlize would put it in the Aeon Flux trailer, "Amatuers". I'm dying to catch that movie! So yeah. And Zai was just tyco shit lah just now! How about he ended off both games?! Bloody hell... ^%!$*&!~

So yes. Pool with the boys was super rocking. Though technically, it's only my second time playing it proper. The first was at Brenda's BBQ earlier on this year when she booked her condo's pool room. But then again, that doesn't really count cos I didn't really play? Okay Huda, stop blabbering!!! (:

Hmm.. What else? Ohohoh!! The suspense, remember? :D Why don't I do it Mariam style and just paste up the conversation itself? The one that got the ball rolling! SEE LAH! Go to camp for three days and poof! I'm lost with regards to the media and how quick news fly here to Singapore with click of your finger! (:

---

can i have it like that, pharrell? says:
yo babe
can i have it like that, pharrell? says:
got my msg?
that rush of ecstasy is just too damn tempting says:
uh.. no?
that rush of ecstasy is just too damn tempting says:
haha.. sry!
that rush of ecstasy is just too damn tempting says:
i just topped up!
can i have it like that, pharrell? says:
ooohh
can i have it like that, pharrell? says:
i msged u that bsb is coming to spore in jan
can i have it like that, pharrell? says:
they r having a concert
that rush of ecstasy is just too damn tempting says:
omg !!! omg!! omg!!
oMG!!!!!!!!!!
can i have it like that, pharrell? says:
shall we go?
can i have it like that, pharrell? says:
im defintely going
that rush of ecstasy is just too damn tempting says:
omg!!
that rush of ecstasy is just too damn tempting says:
I CANYT BREATHE!
can i have it like that, pharrell? says:
get ur parent's permission
that rush of ecstasy is just too damn tempting says:
can can can!!!!
that rush of ecstasy is just too damn tempting says:
LET'S GO!
that rush of ecstasy is just too damn tempting says:
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
can i have it like that, pharrell? says:
and we'll go together
that rush of ecstasy is just too damn tempting says:
okay man!
can i have it like that, pharrell? says:
ask ur frens.. those who can afford..
can i have it like that, pharrell? says:
and those whose parents allow
that rush of ecstasy is just too damn tempting says:
WAH!! BIG OUTING MAN!
can i have it like that, pharrell? says:
i dont want any parents being angry at me if i go with them
that rush of ecstasy is just too damn tempting says:
haha.. relax.. i've been to concerts with my frens!
can i have it like that, pharrell? says:
yea. im draggin my classmates too
that rush of ecstasy is just too damn tempting says:
omg! cool lah!
can i have it like that, pharrell? says:
its gonna be a girls nite out!
that rush of ecstasy is just too damn tempting says:
yeah man!
that rush of ecstasy is just too damn tempting says:
so funkay!
can i have it like that, pharrell? says:
its 24th jan
that rush of ecstasy is just too damn tempting says:
4 days before nick's brithday can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that rush of ecstasy is just too damn tempting says:
H!
that rush of ecstasy is just too damn tempting says:
get sth for himi! throw to the stage!
can i have it like that, pharrell? says:
oh yea?
that rush of ecstasy is just too damn tempting says:
HELL YEAH! get super good seats!

---

Me and Kak Lenny, my godsis. The one in the picture with me the previous post? Yep, that's her. Heck, I don't even know what I was typing! "H!", "himi", "CANYT" You know the first set of 'OMG OMG OMG'? I took about a million years replying her lah! I screamed and screamed and fucking screamed till my scream came out halfway squeaking. Even Kieffy got a fright! Sorry darl! And what about my mum? Well, she rushed out of the toilet wrapped in only her towel wondering wtf just went wrong. And was the house burning down? Okay. That bloody rhymed. Cool.

HAHAHA. I was frantically jumping like a freak! Dancing around like some looney too. SIGH. And I was thinking back to how often I told Naz and all how that even when I'm old with kids, and if BSB's coming to Singapore, I'd still go. And they're coming like in JANUARY! Damn! What are the odds?!

Now, a good dose of the Backstreet Boys! Drool baby drool! :D

HO YEAHHHHHHH!!! Anyways, I'm confused as to where the concert will be held! Cos even in the official site, it says Suntec Convention Hall on the Tour Dates page but it says Indoor Stadium on the Calendar page, so yeah. But STILL! They're COMING!!!!!!!! Okay eww. That sounded WRONG. (:

Do visit this site too cos it's just TOO COOL! Check out the hundreds of thousands of photos they have here! AMAZING!

So yeah. A Girls Night Out. :D So yeah! Any of you bitches ready to have some good fun singing along to their old songs like 'Everybody', 'I'll Never Break Your Heart', 'Get down', 'Quit Playing Games With My Heart', 'Anywhere For You', 'As Long As You Love Me' and the friggin' long list goes on? THEN COME TELL ME QUICK! We wanna get really good seats! The concert isn't very far away! (Keep telling yourself that Huda... Keep telling yourself that!)

OHCRAPOHCRAP. I'm getting so hyped up and excited! Even though it's like, give or take 2 more months! One more thing, if you're uncomfortable with hanging out with a whole bunch of girls where cliques clash (cos right this instant, and even then I don't really give a flying fuck cos we all have one thing in common! WE LOVE BSB! And we're there to rock with them! Embrace that girls! EMBRACE that fact!), then of cos feel free to go without us, but still do go alright! I'll be there! CONFIRM!

Now back to that damn clique clash. Those within Cedar surely. Plus my primary school friends. Melissa! Too bad man! We made a deal! I go to the Avril concert with you this year and you'll go with me to the future BSB concert. (Yes, folks. I had that much faith.) Plus my Godsis' friends. But you know what. I believe it will all turn out great. It'll be loads of fun! So yeah! Why don't we girsl just do without all that darn girl politics for one night and just PAR-TAYYYY away to The Backstreet Boys!! WEEHAH!!

So yes. All those who wanna come along to this awesome outing E-VERRRR, tell me alright! Any form! MSN, email, house phone, handphone, in person, WHATEVER and anything goes! ASAP too! And yes. Erm.... do stretch your budget!! Cos both of us, my godsis and I are HUGE, mega mega HUGE fans. Like hello? She was the one that got me hooked in the first place! Back when I was a mere 6 year old! Influential, she was. So yes. Most likely we're gonna get the most expensive tickets!

Be prepared for it to hit around 200 bucks cos that darn Siti Nurhaliza concert's most pricey tix are $300! BSB is DEFINITELY bigger that her. CONFIRM. But then again, if we're talking location-wise........ Or maybe we'll just make do with the 100+ seats.... Who knows? But the fab thing is, my godsis has a friend who's in the media business. So we'll get discounted tix. Most prob! PLUS! I cannot wait to buy their goodies! Like this super cool funkay tshirt!

I'll probably wear it to sleep for like the next two weeks straight after the concert! They better sell it! But usually they do lah. Same what Sum 41, Avril, Hoobastank... So yeah. Mad mass of people going "THIS! I want 3 of those. Hurry please!"........"Oh god! Will oyu stop pushing!"........."Well, hello! It's not my fault!"........"EXCUSE ME!! Can you not cut queue?!"........"HEY! Miss! Your change!"........."I SAID FOUR OF THOSE!!!"......... Yes, even in Singapore people get all rowdy and catty over bands' stuff. Cool not? :D I CANNOT wait for the madness to begin!

SCREAM WITH ME, GIRLS! SCREAMMMMMMMMMM!!!!

Freak. I'm so darn excited, I sound like a... welll... a freak! God. Huda dear Huda, DO CHILL. Reeeeeelaxxxxx... Shit. I just wrote like 7 paragraphs about the concert which is in 56 days time!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Backstreet Boys!!! Especiall NICK!!! I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUU!!

Tons of love, Huda. Ciao babes!

Note: this post ended 12.43am. The time thingy on Blogger disappeared!! *gasps*

So there! Pics! The ones in school uniform's taken during the "I'm Gifted So Are You!" course. The first one's with Danny and the third's with Amin, taken with the 3c peeps. There are more, I think. But well, for now this will do, yeah?

Then the other pictures taken during Hari Raya. Why I'm the odd one out? Well, look at the colour..... Go figure! The baby bird pooped on me three times, mind you! Oh well.

Anyways, so Annual Camp's coming! Man oh man. I suppose you could say I'm excited! :D That's all I'm letting on! Haha. Not much really.

Another thing. I was really peeved last night. Thank God Mariam called to stop me. Cos I suppose it really could have gotten pretty U-G-L-Y. After that, had a nice long chat with my mum about the same matter. Damn, Mother! You really rock too much sometimes, y'know! My mum's too cool! Ho yeahhhhh...

Sometimes, anger really clouds your judgement. No, I don't suppose I'm a firm believer of that. Not really. But well, yesterday proved it. It does cloud your judgement. Sometimes, anyway....? Okay fine. All the time. Argh. Let's put all the blame on the hormones. Come on guys! Repeat after me! The hormones....

Besides, if I did do what I wanted to do, I'll just win hands down. Like duh! No challenge! No fun! Will get dry and *yawns* bo-rrringg! Rather obvious, no? I mean well.. yeah. Not being cocky or anything, but yes. Of course I'd win! Hahahaha.. Talking to Mar the Cow was interesting. Cos all we did was..... Not telling ya!

***

Random thoughts of the day:

Have you ever noted how different you sound/appear to different people when communicationg through different means? Different means, meaning, like through the internet, on the phone, in person, body language, etc. Try it. As in try to observe how you react with different people. Compare and contrast.

The results, more often than not, are rather alarming. But that's just the wonder about it huh? How so totally freaky it all is. I mean, bearing in mind that it is YOU who's acting that way and all. It'd be quite cool you know. There's no harm knowing more about yourself right?

Another thing, I just so cannot help but laugh when I witness people digging their very own grave. I mean, come on. You're practically begging for it! So yeah. You get what you deserve. But then again, life always works in amazing ways.

You may be set free, this one time. But the next time? I'd say, be careful. Be really careful. Cos you'll never know when life may just sneak up on you. Only to swallow you whole. Like the voice drowned out by the oceans of water spilling right into you. Right into your very soul. Drowning out the cries. The cries of help, the cries of resentment, the cries of helplessness, the cries of regret, the cries of revenge, the cries.. Oh the cries!


























Sometimes, I feel like buying a punching bag. I really do.

OhKAY! A brief one before I head on to school. Hah. The sudden need to blog lah. Like it never happened to you before. So yes. (:

Yesterday was...... awesome!! Yepyep. So it was. Ended up going to only ONE house. Mine. How so retarded is that!? And Niz and I were already in the cab when this silly idiot decided to call and say "STAY THERE!". Sheesh.

After that, waited for Mariam to come then the 7 of us trooped off to town to catch a movie. It was supposed to be Harry Potter. But no! Cathay Cineleisure, you let me down you know. You really did!! ):

Ended up catching Zathura at Lido. It was.... okay, I guess. A bit weird and so unrealistic. But it was still alright. If you have extra money to spare then catch it. If not, well I say save it.

The day ended up with a couple of rounds of talking cock! Hah! It was fun and well, yeah... sleepy. We hung out at the Kembangan coffeeshop. Rahimah's, I think. Accompanied by Ais Limau. Or was it Limau Ais? And then moved to the CC cos well, it was getting rather loud and smoky.

Nice convo topics man. Lesbianism, relationships, OE life!!, then some others and quite a generous dose of sex sprinkled here and there. Heh. Sick jokes and well, expressions which are...... suggestive. But nothing that bad lah. Oh wait. What's your definition of bad? (:

I've realised something about myself. I can be a real biatch sometimes. The worst part? I don't even realise it, when I do. It's like second nature to me or something. And that's bad.

Oh and another thing. What's your take on insecure people? Generally, I mean.

See ya folks soon. Ciao babes.

Long one! A very long one ahead! (=

Okay. So yes. I decided it's worth writing about this all over again. Yes. It happened yet again. There I was mid way writing a rather long entry, and then it went poof! Just like that. Sigh. There you have it. One of those little, minute trivial irritating things in life. Hmm.

I had a heart to heart with a friend this past week. I couldn't be more glad it happened the way it did. A question of fate perhaps; of meant-to-be-ness. (was reading The Three Fates lah) So yes. That, and extremely long rides in the bus got me wondering. About this peculiar thing called friendships.

I know for a fact, that I've got only a handful of people I can call up anytime for any particular reason. I do know that. I've also come to realise that perhaps, I do have a phobia of the term "best friends" or "besties" as it has been more so, used as such.

Or maybe it's cos I don't quite believe in it. I don't know. I've thought of it before. Many a times actually. Or maybe that's just it! That trust issue, which sucks so bad, mind you. Yes, I'll admit. I do put up a guard I suppose. Even when I'm around people I should technically be letting loose with. Even so.

Reminds me of Bio. How through past experiences, you're actually able to conjure up your very own "reaction plan" should it happen to you once more. Like for example you've been attacked by a wild dog, possibly infected with rabies. You'd probably shriek in fear at the sight of an emaciated dog the next time, right? So I guess it works that way, for other aspects too.

What I do know however, is that I do have a number of people I'd consider as my good friends. Are they on the same par as a "best friend" just without the title? No, they're not. But still good all the same. Maybe even great. True, especially.

Another thing I know, is that more often than not, the term "best friend" is simply a label. A label for your own security, like a gurantee. Sounds far from the way it's supposed to sound right? All menacing and fishy with a hidden agenda. I know. But well, to each his (or in this case, her) own, yes?

To me, I think holding on to the label "best friend" brings about unnecessary preassure to "perform as expected" of one. Don't you think it's true? Or at least admit there's some truth in there?

It's like there'll probably be this soft voice whispering "but is that what a best friend should do?", that kind of thing, every now and then. No, this does not mean, that come the title, you ought to do without the unwritten rules and rewrite your own set as and when you wish. I mean come on! Stuff like dating your best friend's ex is definitely a no-no and will always be so. I doubt that will ever change.

It's a good thing too, this soft whispering voice, I agree. Cos it let's us see where this will take us and stuff. Choices have consequences. That eventually, we're the ones who make the decisions, yada yada yada...

But well. I think the label ends up doing more harm than good.

***

So anyways, the past few days went by in quite a flurry. Let's see... Wednesday, the 16th. It was the booster session! Man, brought back memories of those very memorable 3 days, of course. Missed all the humour especially!

Caught The Exorcism of Emily Rose with Clara, despite all the AKLTG (Adam Khoo Learning Technologies Group) trainers commenting what a horrible movie it was. I suppose I was kind of disappointed. I expected so much more gore and to be really really spooked. But, you know, if you belief you'll be spooked, then I say spook on baby! Hah. I slept through some parts of it though. Whoops.

Thursday, met up with Melissa around 7.30. Initially intended to watch Harry Potter. Hah. Wishful thinking, man! Bought tickets for Oliver Twist at Century Square instead. It was, I must say quite dry but a classic's still a classic. (=

Headed on for dinner at TM's Pizza Hut. STUPID SHIT. It's so friggin' obvious that it was prepared, likely a million years ago, stuffed in the fridge and when someone orders it, thrust into the microwave oven and ta-da!! Your pasta is served! Convenient eh?

Melissa was peeved enough to take out her finishing eyeliner and vent it all out on.... the poor poor plate! Haha. It was pretty funny actually. She being the arty farty person that she is, even wrote it with such... elegance if I do say so myself. (=

"The food sucks! Taste it yourself! But the drink's not bad lah."

My god. Was in a state of pure glee and amusement. Haha. When we peroceeded to pay the bill, the guy was all, "Um, would you like to fill up a feedback form?". HAHAHA.

Oh yeah. We took neoprints too! For the fun of it. I can't recall the last time I took neoprints actually. Most likely on Sports Day with all the Bogae people. Did stupid poses and stuff. Hilarious.

Friday, 18th, yesterday! Was quite a busy day actually. Flying about here and there, rush here, rush there! Managed to get through the IC crap within an hour. Which is quite long. Considering I already have the photo. But Counter Woman 1 said it was okay. But Counter Woman 2 said NO. So after waiting for a good half an hour for my turn, I had to get out of the queue, take my photo, which is UGLY BTW, then go back to her. =/

So after that, rushed home, took a quick bath, got ready and out again! Cabbed to Mud's house. I see everyone was settled right in. Very comfortably so, in fact. I am still clueless as to why they find it incredibly amusing to poke fun at me! I doubt I'm that fun to pick at. Doubt I'm that ... pokeable...? Right? SIGH.

Went to a few houses then ended up slacking at Najib's. It was nice. Catching up and stuff. Man, did I miss you guys! Najib's so tall. Mud lost a lot of weight. Mariam's getting impossibly taller. Aniszah couldn't make it though! Sadly.

So in the end, it was just Jib, Zai, Mar and I. Slacked or lepak-ed, as a better term, cos all we did was really just lie down/chill on the sofa/carpet and talked and talked and talked. I very nearly feel asleep. The mood was just too comfortable lah!

We only left Najib's place around 12.30...? Mar took a cab home while Zai and I shared one. The taxi was nice too! The right temperature and after Zai got off, the silence! God the silence!! It was rather therapeutic. Naturally, I fell asleep soon after.

Hah. Thank god it 's Singapore and not America where chances are, I'd probably be mugged, raped, then stabbed for convenience sake and left to die and wallow in misery at the corner of some ulu street. OR.... In true Desperate Housewives style, chopped up then stuffed in a toy box and flung into the river. Oh Thank God!!

***

Today. My sister came over with some super coolio drama and so she's staying over for a couple of days. Tales of a Psycho Mother Part II. Super entertaining, really. Go catch it! (=

Guess that's all then. Ciao babes!

Okay, so it's been a day since we got back from ATC at Pulau Ubin. What about it? I think it was simply great! The fact that it was almost directly after the "I'm gifted" workshop, was a great thing. Cos I think the effects are starting to kick in.

Like for example, I'm actually able to say "Okay, Huda. You did well today. Just keep it up and you'll be fine!" right before I sleep. It's a vast leap, if I do say so myself. I can feel myself getting there, little by little.

I'm loving every bit of what those 3 days of intensive workshop on life in general has done to me! YAY. You can feel the change you know! The warmth inside and all...

Oh oh oh! This has absolutely no linkage but I have a feeling if i don't mention it now, I'll completely forget about it. So yeah. I think the guy at the ATF station there, the one with the accent? I think he thinks I'm silly. SIGH. I can't help it what!! It's freaky. Though that step wasn't that big or whatever but it's 9m high!! But it's definitely less scary than OAC's High E!

Anyway, I think the camp went well. Picked up skills here and there. It was basically all pretty good. I think it pretty much boils down to one thing - attitude. I know I'm starting to sound like a drab... but I can't quite help it? Haha..

And yay! Cedar nabbed both the Best Female Camper award! Humility okay guys? (= Great job there Cher Lia and Syazwani! And everyone who've done their best too! If you did, then you'll know it. Cos that inkling sense of self satisfaction will be present! (=

Okay, I really have to say this. I think I'm pretty fortunate to get pretty fab groups for both ATCs. (=

Our tent, Tent 9 slept at the assembly area on the second night. Why? ATTACK OF THE MIGHTY ANTS THAT'S WHY!! *Star Wars main soundtrack plays

Seriously. There was this super long trail of them, an entire army! I'm the sort of person who gets the goosebumps at the mere sight of a whole lot of creepy crawlies all gathered like for some holy sacred six legged ceremony or something, but will stay to observe them which would only resort to my being disgusted all the more, and yet that would intrigue me all the more! Makes sense? No? I thought so. (=

Basically, ATC was great. I got burnt, or rather "barbecued" according to Mother dearest. I've turned at least two shades darker. But that's okay. I intend to sort of hibernate during december. Gosh, I can't wait!

***

Anyway, today. Went back to school for Bio and Amaths. It was pretty alright actually. After that went for lunch at PP Macs with Liane, Huiyun and Naz. Dirah joined in sometime later. Had a good long chat. Apparently, I'm a diva. *rolls eyes* One word. Weird. =/ Like whatever. *snaps hand to the right, move head to the left* haha.

We covered quite a handful of topics actually. We do what we do best, yeah? Talk.

Oh! I've been thinking about this for quite some time now. And I've come to a conclusion. I don't believe in love at first sight. But I still believe in true love, that there's someone for everyone out there, that one and only person. (= And I still think that relationshsips are not meant for you to feel complete. I simply don't. Cos you have to be complete; loving and accepting yourself before you even step into a relationship, right?

Oh well. I've not experienced any of it yet. So we'll just see, yeah? Ciao babes.

I know I've not been consistent with this blogging thing. But you know. I was busy.

The past 3 days have been really amazing for me. And I'm sure for the other 99 of you too. No, I'm not gonna go on a rant about the entire 3 days. So I'll just keep it short.

It has taught all of us a lot things which we can AND will apply to our lives, not only academically wise. It has opened up our eyes and made us take out the heart in all of us and light it aflame once more. Ignite that fire, once again. It has taught us how to appreciate our family. So now, all thanks to Gary, we have developed the phobia of being asked to close our eyes in the theaterette by either one of the 3 wonderful trainers. Haha.

These past 3 days have taught us lifelong skills. They have shared hilarious stories from past experiences which left us laughing like freaking banshees, all of us shrilling in utter delight. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard and so much before!

They have really brought forth the true essence of living; that we're all EAGLES!! Though we can always choose to be sheeps, but no! Choices have consequences! (: There's an obvious difference between living and merely existing. Yes, apparently I've been taught well! Haha.

They made us visualise what it's be like without our parents and you know. That ended up with a HUGE flood. So now we know. And I suppose knowing helps. Cos we know we can't make it alone. Just yet. Or perhaps we'll never be ready.

They taught us the importance of having a HIGH SELF ESTEEM!! Come on babes! Hahah. They left us feeling very motivated and inspired, yeah?

Danny even entertained us mini-porno way! HAHAH. That was fun man. Amin really looks like Jim Carey, it's FREAKY. And Gary, well he's really a clown,yes? And besides, he can always just change his profession to a stand up comedian, should he get bored, since he and I quote "has to find ways to entertain [him]self". He also knows just how to tug at all the right strings leaving us pondering about.

I think yesterday was simply very moving. The closing ceremony. It was tough I suppose, for me. Was going "Okay. I will go. No, I won't.. Okay, GO!!! Nah. Wait for someone first." till I finally decided oh wth. "GO!!" And so I did. Along with many others.

If you've realised, I didn't mention anything about my dad. Wasn't quite ready yet. You know, I gave him the letter, and then I fled to the toilet. One of the weird things Gary was saying people do, I suppose. And then, after that, I just went straight to my room. Today I woke up, and he's already gone. To work I guess. So I'm still pretty nervous about how things will go.

I doubt any of us will forget either 3 of them right? And Wayne did such a great job with all the sound effects at all the appropriate times! Haha.. That was really cool. This has been the best workshop I've ever attended in all my 15 years. Yeah, it's THAT good.

So, (mini free ad/promotion), all you sec 2s out there, word of advice. Next year? Do take up the "I'm gifted, so are you" workshop. It'll do wonders with regards to your perspective in life and stuff. I'm really serious.

Oh yes! you know Gary's gf? Candice? She's inside the booklet thingy that they were sort of giving out. Go search the pics carefully, read the name tags. Unless of course, there's more than one Candice....

Oh oh oh! I've realised something too. You know when either of them walked into the theaterette, I was thinking "Hmm. Not that great looking", and gave up hopes of having eye candy should they get boring and things. But, once they opened their mouths and started talking, they look slightly different.

So, I took a closer look once more and I realised that they suddenly appear much better looking! I know how it sounds. Very weird and strange. But what I'm trying to say, I guess, is that the combination of confidence, intelligence and perhaps humour is really attractive. It makes you look good.

I think confidence here, is the huge major factor. I mean come on, confidence can be faked what right? So once you fake confidence, you'll eventually really do feel confident so you'll end up genuinely confident! Yeah? But then again if you're confident for no reason, cos you're not intelligent, that sort of makes you cocky right? Since you don't quite have anything to be confident about? Okay, I'm confusing myself here.

Key words (haha), confidence + intelligence + humor = attractive. You don't exactly have to be great looking to be attractive.

Okay, that wasn't exactly short... But anyway, to sum it all up, I guess I'll never be the same again. But the question still remains, will this last long enough? Well, one word, BELIEF.

Okay! *rubs palms together, spit on both palms then rub together again and then crack my neck, back and of cos my fingers* (Fine. So I didn't do the spit part) Anyways, updates for the past two days yeah? Shit man. Is this becoming a habit or what? (:

Friday, went back to school for Bio. It was alright. Then caught Sky High with Naz at Lido! Why? Well, cos we're all Brains, Brawn and Beyond of cos! DUH!! ;D It was surprisingly pretty good you know. New hottie alert! :DD I've seen him before. But WHERE?! On my bed perhaps. :D But really. I HAVE seen him before! What movie ah?

Told you he was hot. He has the whole dangerous-bad-boy thing going on. Check out that smoldering stare. What I can't even begin to comprehend, is how this guy *points to the pic* is actually really this guy *points to the pic at the bottom*

Super different yeah? Man. BUT. I wasn't that disappointed. :D He has it totally rocking great for him lah! The bad-boy-dangerous thing looks good for him. But so does the clean-shaven-hunky-surfer-dude-ish-I'm popular-you're-not, or rather I'm famous-you're-not look! Don't we girls just LOVE guys who are versatile?

And actually, it's rather considerate of them too. I mean if we DO get sick of his attitude, he can just swap from one personality to the other *hopefully* just like how he can swap both looks and try to win us over, again may I add, cos.. well yeah! Haha. No no. *Shakes head points forefinger at you* It's called a joke hun. (: (well, with some truth in it I suppose)

Cute. (: Him, I mean. Well, if he can do that, I mean. As in swap the personalities. (:

That aside. Yesterday. Now that was a huge shock. Back to that later.

Okay, so then Kakak Idayu and her fam came around 11.30 ish. Ilhan was SO freaking cute! :D He was wearing JEANS with a long-sleeved stripped shirt, folded to the elbows plus a cute orange t shirt over it! And he's ONLY 1 year plus! Man, he's gonna be a snazzy dresser when he grows up. My cousin will make sure of that! Haha.

Mirza was being a typical kid, all irritating yet cute at the same time. Like all other 6 year olds. (: He only salam-ed my mum to get his green packet!! Oh come on. Like YOU never put up some act just to get the cash! At least I know I did! Hey! I admitted! (:

Okay, so the rest of the day was blahblah boring. Went to my Aunt's place all the way at JURONG. Car ride was so long! Thought we were going to Malaysia or something. Anyway, there's this kenduri there. Cos one of my cousins, is going back to Bahrin, or Egypt or Saudi or somewhere.. to further his studies. Yes, he goes to a madrasah. So yeah. Like what my Maklong said, killing two birds with one stone. Visiting as well as kenduri-ing.

(By now I think those of you who aren't Malays are lost! Heh. Sorry.)

Got there and to my UTTER shock, my aunt was telling my mum that Zaini was lost and so Rudi, my cousin was gonna go fetch them from the carpark or something.

When I heard that, I just went ^%#%@# for a good 5 minutes straight. I kept nudging, more like toedging? Since I was using my feet. Anyway, so I was toedging my mum. She kept giving me the "Come on lah. It's nothing! No sweat!" look. Cos obviously she can't tell me what she really wants to say cos my aunt was on a roll and would only wanna know more than she should, should my mother actually did that. So yeah. SIGH.

Zaini, is my mum's sister's husband's brother. And my mum's sister's husband's brother's son.....

Well, if you're close enough to me, then you'll know the whole story. If you're not, then too bad. You're just gonna get frustrated by the end of this post. Sorry guys.

Okay, so then my nerves were a complete jumble, though I know it's incredibly lame since it's so fucking long ago and all. But well, yeah. It's the sort of thing you'd bound to remember for life, you know?

So there I was minding my own business when suddenly he appears out of nowhere. With the entire dysfunctional, whacked till it can't get whacker, but did, Brady Bunch. Just not the slightest bit funny. At all.

Was I jumping for joy cos Nick Carter decided to be my date cos apparently he needed me to hear from him that he REALLY didn't beat Paris although I know that he didn't at all cos that bitch (but I still love her) just wants to get EXTRA attention, not that she's not getting enough already, probably because she wants to get sympathy votes cos she's trying to get everyone to believe that SHE was the victim in the paris-nicole break out when really, EVERYONE already knows that it's HER or WHAT.

Sadly, it's a WHAT. SIGH.

I dont know lah. It's just so fucking weird! Not to mention awkward. It's just weird. Enough about that episode already. I'd just bore you cluelesss freaks to death, now won't I? (:

Anyway, met up with all my cousins!! Hell, did I miss them. As in miss us all meeting in this big gang. (: We took huge family pics with a camera phone. Make that 3 camera phones! Wth right? No one thought of bringing a camera so yeah. If ever the pic's blown up, we'd probably be all pixelated! My goodness. But it was still fun and nice all the same.

Emi, (his name is really Fililmy, pronounced Fill-ail-me) changed so much! I told him that "[you] changed so much like no shit!". He probed further wanting to know WHAT exactly changed. Of cos, i can't out my finger on it, other than the hair cos I know it's not just the hair.

Being the usual him, he went up to my grandmother and went "Nek, Emi sekarang lain eh?" and stuff. PLUS he went around asking my aunts and even my grandfather. SHEESHNESS.

His hair! CHANGED A LOT. Okay, so he does change his hairstyle completely every single year. But still! This time around, he sports the shaggy rocker-dude-but-still-sane do. And so now he REALLY looks like Tyson! Of The All American Rejects!!

Apparently, the front man of The All American Rejects looks like Tom-so-so-hot Welling!! See?

But, no, Emi doesn't look like Tom Welling at all. And that's a GOOD thing. You can't be falling for your own cousin right?!?!?

See yah later guys.

Ripped this off your blog!! (: I'm bored once again. Though they are a couple of stuff I ought to be doing right this very instant. Like helping out in the chicken kitchen. But you know. The rebel in me. Hah.

1) Are you afraid of being single?
I don't quite know really. Have never been in love before. But I guess loneliness does kick in at the weirdest of times.

2) What do you do when you can't sleep?
I grab my wallet and head on downstairs (regardless of the time) to 7-11 and get myself a bottle of cranberry juice which costs a freaking 3 bucks plus a bar of chocolate and then I go sit on my balcony-ish place and stare up at the moon while I snack. If it's a full moon, then I start thinking about anything in relation to romance. If it's not, then i'll just think. About anything.Yeah yeah. I know. Mushy. (:

Either that, or if I'm too lazy or after peeking out at the main road I see a whole bunch of mats/ wannnabe mats, then I consult you, dearest machine.

3) How far would you go to get something you really want?
Depends on how badly I want it. If it's a my-life-depended-on-it kinda thing, then basically anything.

4) What time is it right now?
2.46pm

5) Do you go for personality or looks?
Depends. Is he rich? *evil grin* No, I'm kidding. The best of both worlds I suppose. Yeah okay, greedy and unrealistic, but who are you to say HUH? (:

6) What's your fave flavor of Kool-Aid?
Not American. So I have no clue what's that.

7) What makes you *Really* happy?
Haven't quite reached that state of eternal joy. YET. But I suppose a good conversation with someone that matters count. I don't ask for much now do I?

Oh wait. While you're at it, to be thin, gorgeous and rich. Superficial, but you know, I know all of you secretly want it too. Now now, don't deny.


8) Are you a negative person?
Cynical, yeah I admit. But not entirely negative negative.

9) In your opinion, Do you think premarital sex is wrong?
Yes. Religion says so. But you know, what's so wrong about being traditional? And furthermore, any intimacy of that sort that makes you giddy with bubbly, child-like joy, should NEVER in any way be interpreted as true love, yes? Enough said. (Okay. Guys. Those of you who think otherwise please keep your words to yourself. I'm not that bit interested to know what you think and how wrong you think what I think is. Thanks.)

10) Do you believe in 'Reincarnation'?
Perhaps. Maybe. It's fun to imagine, right?

11) What's your fave online news site?
bbc.com.uk? Kidding. I'd rather flip the paper or catch it on TV.

12) Which Celebrity do you think you most resemble?
Haven't really thought about that. Come clue me in.

13) What do you think the meaning of life is?
Okay, listen. I'm only 15. I've yet to experience and learn. So, no, I don't have an answer. To be honest, I doubt anyone does. Ahh.. The mystery of life itself! But one thing I have been told often - it's full ironies.

14) Fave color?
Red and purple.

15) Which Instant Messaging programs do you use?
MSN messenger.

16) Are you good with computers?
NO WAY!

17) How many kids do you want when you grow up?
4!! The first would have to be a girl, then a guy and then a pair of twins! Wouldn't it be great if we could all have it our way? SIGH.

18) Ever been to a concert?
A couple. Coco Lee (free tix from OCBC or something), Avril ('03), Sum 41, Hoobastank, Avril ('05) and local ones here and there.

19) What type of music can you NOT stand?
Not really the music. But rather music OVERenthusiasts eg. PUNKS. Like honey, please. Spare that passion and go direct that fire into somewhere useful, you know?

20) Do you have a job?
Nope. But I'd love too. the extra cash would sure come in handy.

21) If you had to rate yourself on a scale of 1 -10 then what would you be?
7.

22) What size of shoe do you wear?
8. Depends on the type too, I think. Like for example, for pointy shoes, most likely it'd be a 9. HUGE, I know. So why the hell I'm short, I have no idea. =/

23) What are your habits?
I have ridiculously too many. To name a few, my fingers automatically play with my earrings when I talk to people. It's supposed to mean something bad, like I'm not paying attention to what you're saying, but really, it's not. Apparently, it's shit obvious when I'm not interested in whatever you're talking about. I'm sorry. I do get irrational. Sometimes. Oh and I think I bite back even though it's totally uncalled for. And then some others. I told you I had many.


24) What was the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Proposals, proposals, and MORE proposals.

25) Last thing you ate?
Lontong with the whole package - sambal goreng, rendang, etc. It IS Hari Raya you know.

26) Last thing you drank?
Nescafe. I love caffeine.

27) What do you think is the most stupid law?
Well, plenty actually. Like for instance now, cos I can't exactly mention anything particular cos it may (I can't keep track, there's shitloads) be a law that I didn't know of and hence, become a helpless victim in this fine city. (a classic I know, but I was just trying to make my point!)


28) How many people are on your buddy list?
I don't know. It changes form time to time. Bug me and you'll see. Piss me off? Oh don't even start.

29) What site do you go to most?
Mine? Oh come on. After every saved posts, you'd check it right? Plus, when you're online, you'd check it too, in case of any comments etc. plus, you'd check the traffic too. At least I'm honest!

30) Do you like seafood?
Yep. Gimme some clams man! Plus shrimps! And that prawnish thing which I forgot the name. Oh and fish's good too!

31) What is your fave place(s) to eat out at?
Anywhere would be fine I guess. But right now, I dig Breeks and Burger King.

32) Worst insult you ever heard about yourself?
Been called a "slut"/"bitch". Though really, like you're any better. *rolls eyes* I don't get it sometimes. But hey, won't stoop to your level now shall we? (:

33) Best compliment you've received from someone?
That I have sharp features, though how anyone is able to note that amidst all the flab is beyond me.

34) Are you picky?
Only the best for the best. (:

35) Place you go to get your hair cut?
I forgot what it's called. The $10 shop? Eh please ah. 1) My hair is curly, hence there's really isn't much difference cos I usually just go for a trim and 2) I'd rather spend my cash on something else, really.

36) Perfect place to go on your first date with someone?
Anywhere? I don't know. Somewhere really up high and you have such an amazing view! Like what Halley had in That Summer!! Man, that feeling must be worth all the chocolates in the world! Actually, it'd be nice if the guy knew how to sweep me off my feet and just leave me breathless.

37) What age is considered old?
26/27. It's time for a family! No more time for yourself, not really anyways. Unless of course my mother is the only selfless mum in the whole wide world! Doubt so. But anyways, don't you think the phrase "the whole wide world" sounds so... fantasy-ish and... well young? (:

38) Have you met any celebrities?
Hmm. Quite a lot I guess. But the one on one, celeb-got-to-know-my-name kind, Carrie Chong, Jaime Yeo, Daniel Ong, Hani Hadad, Leandra and of cos TAUFIK. (not that interested anymore. but hell, that was an experience! THANK YOU TOFFA!!) Some I can't rmb. Mostly local but what do you expect?

39) Do you get along better with men or women?
Hmm. Both are alright I guess. But I find that guys are easier to trust. They don't seem to have other motives, I suppose. I mean with girls.... you won't know right? Oh I don't know lah. There are also those smooth talkers who are plain jerks.

40) What is the best quality about you?
Let's name a few shall we? Cos I can't exactly name just one. Fair, open minded, confident. I hope I got that right.

If only things were THAT simple for you guys, eh? Well, I say, TOO BAD! (: You want some, you sacrifice some. You get what you give! (The Radicals! Where on earth have they disappeared to?!)

Anyways, with completely zero link, Selamat Hari Raya! I'm rotting away in the study cos I'm sick of this particular place called the ever-vicous, ever-merciless, ever-demanding.....

*Beethovan plays dramatically*

kitchen. (which I quite often mistake it for chicken. I mean come on man! It sounds VERY similar! I'll bet that the freaks schnicks who came up with those words are related!!



[edit] Aw jeez. I'm in an extremely weird mood. =/

Hello!! Wow. I've been fasting in more ways than one man. Been losing touch with the cyberworld (does anyone still call it that anymore?!). I here, have stooped to an all time low - a couch potato. Okay, fine. A bed potato? But that just doensn't sound too right. I couldn't get my lazy ass to just travel to the study room. ): Anyways, updates of the past couple of days is in order, yeah? (:

Saturday, 28th

Went to Geylang with my family, the first time this Ramadan. Pathetic, aye? Anyway, the feeling wasn't what I anticipated it to be initially. I mean, the buzz, yeah I felt that. But I don't know... I just wasn't quite feeling it, you know what I mean? Whatevers. I bet you don't. That's okay. (:

So, I was getting pretty pissed cos I couldn't find any baju kurung that made my heart stop and go "Ohmygod!! That is SO nice. Ma, I want that".

Ended up in First Lady (pukes pukes pukes). UGH. The stuff there's pretty alright I suppose. What I hate so much about it though, is the fact that the chances of an awkward "fuck-she-has-the-same-baju-kurung-as-me" moment just hiked up to an almost gurantee. Oh WHAT am I talking about?! It IS a gurantee. But wth. I just got this red one, as promised, from there.

So this year, I have a white one and a red one. One so virginal/ holy/ innocent the other so slutty/ seductive / not-so-innocent. Opposites totally attract yeah? Okay, I have no idea what I'm getting at. Hah. And so the random fever strikes!

My mom, was happily purchasing house stuff. New flowers/ vases/ table cloths/ cushion covers/ etc. And my brother was being such an irritant. Jeez. Just cos we weren't buying his stuff yet, he had to be such a pussy.

Okay, so around 5 plus, went to meet Siti at Orchard MRT. We were gonna buke outside! WHEE. My mum gave me some cash, just in case I came across a nice pair of heels/ bag.

We decided to look around Wisma.

IT WAS HELL.

We were running around the entire place like silly rats, only to find no cheese!! ): Stupid. Aldo had nice bags. BUT they were like $59.90 and above. I almost, bought that nice white bag, leaving with 10 measly cents to buke. BUT. Common sense kicked in. I didn't give in to my impulse. :D COME ON MAN. Someone pass me the medal! (x

We went to Mango, nada, Nine West, shoes start off at like what? 90 over bucks. We went in, checked a tab and walked right out. Embarrassing. ): After surveying around some more, decided oh wth. Let's start hunting for a place to eat. (:

Ended up in Breeks. Had to queue for a good 20 minutes plus! Was torn between Seoul Garde and Breeks. But the queue at Breeks was shorter.

Crap man. All those fasting (plus some others) were already there! Full house. Annoying. So we broke our fast with Famous Amos cookies. Made my throat scream "DRY! DAMMIT DRY!".

SIGH.

And then when we were in, had to wait a bloody 20 minutes more before my food arrived. Urgh. Talk about great service. But I guess we gotta understand too, many of them didn't even have a chance to break their fast, plus I think it takes quite some time to roast a chicken right?

BUT STILL. Don't they go by the "Customers are golden. They are ALWAYS right." rule? If so, not showing it leh.

That aside, our food was pretty good. We were so stuffed! Left huge portions untouched. See, if they came earlier, we wouldn't have snacked on the cookies, hence leaving more space for SOLID food. They're loss. And our's too. =/

After the heavy meal, we had to walk around. I could just feel my jean's button on the verge of snapping. Yucks. So we went around trying to find something decent. BULLSHIT lah.

But in the end, Charles&Keith saved the day. Yet again. BO-RING!

The past few years, my Hari Raya shoes have been from there. But what to do? Their's are nice and reasonably cheap. BUT. Just my luck, they had to run out of size 39s. The one I wanted was very glam-ish but at the same time, the "safe" kind that can be worn with casualwear.

Didn't get anything at all at the end of the day. GAH. Didn't exactly put me in a good note. But at least the next time I visit a Charles&Keith outlet, I'd know the exact kind I want, along with the size.




Sunday, 29th

Went to Tampines Mall with the family. To buy my dad's pants/ shirts/ shoes, my bro's pants/ shirts/ shoes, my bag/ shoes, my mum's brooches/ shoes. Started off at Metro Century Square for my Brat's stuff cos he's starting his crap once again. *rolls eyes*

Thank god I was there. Else, he would have gotten crap clothes. Sadly, he has pretty horrid taste sometimes, though I gotta admit, other times, his taste is of a certain standard. The got my dad's stuff.

Then, went downstairs to look at the bags. I kept hovering around the Guess bags, hoping Mother would get the hint. Of course she chose to be "blind", ignoring all my coughs, "Eh ma, this is nice right?"s, longing stares. Hmm. Typical. Instead, she tried to get me to like this one that had cherries on the bag. CHERRIES!! Sorry, but I don't quite go for the cute stuff.

SIGH.

Then went on to TM's Isetan, got my mum's shoes and brooches. And then, miraculously, my mum bought for me a Carlo Rino handbag! I have no idea what got into her. Well, whatever it is, I'm one happy girl! I still cannot believe she actually agreed to get me that bag! (x

Nearing break fast, we went on to Delifrance Bistro or Bistro Delifrance or whatever. Apparently, the Delifrance outlet at TM was given a complete image overhaul. They made it into a restaurant like thingy. Food was good. We actually had to self order. Meaning, filling out the order slip ourselves, plus the code number, the quantity, etc. Interesting. Nice way to make things easier for themselves, eh?

After that, went on to Charles&Keith to get my shoes. Annoyingly, they didn't even have that pattern! URGH. Felt like smacking them. Due to time constraint, had to find something nice enough. Ended up with this pair of two tone, light brown and drak brown one. Also, my mum got herself another pair. Hrmph. Inequality, anybody?

Then went home with my gorgeous, lovely bag and okay-lah heels. (:




Monday, 31st

Basically, just helped around the house and then went on to meet squadmates at Kovan around 1. Going to Rachel's house! The Popular at Heartland Mall is quite shit. They didn't have enough! But it's okay. I bet all the other stores are the same. =/ Ordered and we're gonna have to pick it up on Friday.

Mucked around while trying to get everything done at her place. Sophia Ke is DAMN demanding! FUSSY POT! (: Went on to Kovan's KFC for our dinner. Fast food. =/ Had the Taco Bell.. uh.. thing? And then suddenly Rachel dragged me and Clara out!

Went on to Prima Deli to get these cheapo neneh cake slices for Dina's birthday! We begged the aunty to give us a candle. And then! CRISIS! No lighter!!! After going up and down, genius me, suggested we go to the supermarket. We spent 70 cents on a purple lighter which we were only gonna use to light that one candle. Prepared everything (which really isn't a lot, just to light that one candle, the hard part is really trying to not let the flame go poof while walking to the table) then approached Dina!

She tried to act dumb! What's new? (: Could tell she was touched! We gathered around that one small pathetic box and sang "Happy Birthday" as softly as we could manage. Which isn't really soft by the way.

Oh yeah! I got my Michael Bubble CD! Thanks Dina, Maria and Su!! I will get you something Dina! (:

***

That pretty much rounds up everything. Yesterday was spent cleaning the house a bit and Part 1 of cleaning my room! Part 2's today. I have so much crap man. Oh, and I can finally see what's buried under all that junk on my table. I found my SS 3B workbook! AMAZING!!

Okay, guess I'll be off now. Oh and no, you're not seeing things, I did write 6+ in the morning. Decided to not sleep again. Okay then. Ciao babes! (: