Red Hot Passion
27 August 2006

Geek is the new Jock

First heard/watched it on Black Jettas'. Then heard it again in the library ytd when the SMU people were showing their video of some trip to France or something. It's so frickin' cute!


Like how adorable is that. Wah cool man. I think the skinny guy in the black blazer is oozing with cutecums. HAHA. Whoops I meant cuteness. (;

Anyways, here are some of the pics taken on Friday.

Kay, that's all for now. Nice? I know! Aw come on now! There's that narcissistic devil inside everyone of us! It's true. :P

So last night, was on the phone with Niz. And the funniest thing happened. Mud! Remember your "power naps"? I kena also man. Shit. Haha. For like a few seconds too! HAHAHAHA.

Babe, I miz eu. (YUCK) Many love back at cha!

I think I better go off now. Yes. I better. Damn it I suck! I shouldnt even be on the computer! Gah.

Bye suckers. <3

2:51 PM


Tone deaf APE

Hello everyone. This has somehow ended up being my typical greeting huh.

Well, keeping it short here. Trying at least. Life hasnt been dull though it's supposed to considering how FAR away the Prelims are. (English paper's on Mon. WTFFF.)

My tutor's name is Nicole and she got 3As for A levels. *makes a face*

Anw, yesterday rocked balls. Hard. Hahah. Class attendance? 18. 4c's too cool sia. :D But it was a good day in school. We pigged out on chocs given by the Body Balance instructor. Like hell we were gna keep it for those who "self declared" Friday a holiday, in Mrs Foo's words.

Met Dirah and Naz at Pizza Hut (yeah they skipped. *rolls eyes*). And not long later, we started to get high. And our mood never went down till hours later! Shite.

So instead of lunch-study-study-study-yougettheidea, it ended up being lunch-getting high-browsing around-dressing room madness v3-shopping-"study". And camwhoring in between all that. Hahah.

I think we spent half an hour inside the cubicle! But this time all three of us bought stuff okay. So the sales people didnt like gave us problems or anything. Maybe they shot us looks but we're too busy being the narcisstic nutheads that we are to bother. :D

"Huda shut up! Dont say that out loud!"
"Huh? What? That your boobs are hanging out?"
"Booby booby booby booby!!!"

Dirah and I. Irony at play. SIGH. She tried on a bikini! And looked good. Why am I surprised! Lol. I think we made a lot of noise inside there. And we had to keep on making stupid random noises to cover up the sound of the CLICK the camera was making!

So yup. Man, I'm so lazy to blog already! This is ridiculous! Hahah. So then we purchased the flip flops, the purse, the bag and proceeded OUT! The Roxy bag they use as "plastic bags" are pretty nice.

Naz got this really cool plaid bag! ): OH YOU KNOW WHAT'S THE COOLEST PART. We had no idea there was a sale till we were informed of it at the counter! How cool is that! More of this kinda luck please. Thank you, God.


So today! Met up with Fatmah and Siti in town for a study date! Did 12th Night yo! Okay I'm really lazy to blog now. :/

OH YEAH. I busted 2o over bucks on stationery just now! I'm happy. I got pretty markers in pretty colours and this yummy mechanical pencil. I dont get the last adjective either. It's 1 plus. Shut up.

And met Carmen and her two friends at Orchard's Popular too! Yep.

The final two will be Hady and Jon. Preferably.

Hey Joakim! Go lock yourself in a toilet cubicle and hang yourself with your belt kay! Oh wait! Before that, cut yourself, use your blood to scribble "this is my sacrifice, Singapore" on the walls yeah? Cool.

Seriously. We must start some kinda campaign to make the couldnt-care-less adults vote for TALENT. Why cant he just withdraw? Gurmit, Daniel, and the judges are all saying all sorts of euphemisms which scream "DONT VOTE FOR JOAKIM" in bright, bold, red letters. Sheesh. Plus exclamation marks too. Three of them.

Stupid pre pubescent girls. Your boobs arent even growing right. Do something proper with your brains, please? At least something.

So it's a down right presumption. Quite annoying, even. BUT HE CANT SING.

Okay. Enough. I'm starting to sound too Singapore Idol-obsessed. Oh the Sec 2 days. 2004's SI memories are quite embarrassing for me! HAHAH. Whatevers.

I'm suddenly reminded of J's sms. "SINGAPOREANS ARE UGLY AND STUPID." When Joakim got through last week.


1:08 AM


21 August 2006

"Trashy" books teach too

Hey everyone.

You know what Nuzie, I should have done what you asked me to do a million years ago. Remember how you gave me the whole of June to get it over and done with? Well, did I listen? Hell no. But well. I'm much happier now. Hah. Even if you dont understand, it's okay. And if you do, keep it to yourself yeah? Thanks. (:

So I'm supposed to be studying my friggin' ass off. Right? Well, since I got back, All I've done is watch Totally Spies (OMG. My secret's out. I love Clover, btw. She's so cute.) and read a book, which isnt a lit text. WHICH REMINDS ME. Omg. Mrs Foo's gna give us that quiz thingy tmr. Gah.

-sidetrack- Daphne Loves Derby is pretty good. Hmm.

OMG. We did something incredibly stupid today. So it was during Malay that J came up with this brilliant idea.

The second the last bell rung, the three of us got up, salam-ed the Chicks, and ran for the school gates! We've not even worn our shoes properly! We were supppose to beat the frickin sec ones and be the FIRST ones out of school! Failed. ): But hey at least we were Top 5!

Nuts I tell you. But it was so fun. We kept on giggling the whole way out! Like stupid little tykes who stole something from their mums' drawer and put it inside the toybox instead. I dont get the link either but whatever. But I cant deny. It was crazy fun. Even for those couple of minutes. :D

ANYWAY. I got myself shit dorky glasses. Degreeless duh. Excuse me. Shall I remind you again? 06/06P, thank you. But I dont know. Wanted something different. And you know my hair. God knows if I meddle with it what'd happen. It could possibly turn out worse than a bird's nest so yes. I'm limited. *rolls eyes*

The longest I've worn it is twenty minutes. How do you people survive the whole day in them?! It's fucking annoying and it hurts the back of my ears. Oh how I pity those little myopic kids. BUT IT'S CHANGE. And I'm starting to like change a lot. I do actually. We'll see. (:

Here's a really advanced HUGE hello to 2007. :D

Read that no one can make you feel intimidated without your permission. I'm honoured then. Cos many have given me the consent. :D Haha. Cool.

Hold on. *takes off dorky image* Omg. I'll never manage in them at this rate. :/

Sometimes, I do wonder actually. And I quote Faking 19,
"Why the promises I make to other people always become more important than the ones I make to myself?"
*shrugs* I lost half of me when I started falling into this bottomless pit, Failure, and cant seem to slowly crawl out of that fucking hole I dug myself since. Pathetic huh.

I guess I just cant handle it when things spiral out of control. Not that I dont have any say in it. I do. It's just taking that big leap that's the problem, you know? Yeah, they say start with baby steps. But when you venture out with such small shy steps, it's just as easy to step back again. You never did got far anyway right?

But if you take that BIG jump, you cant turn back. You're too far off.

So come fly with me. (: You're soaring, flying.. there's not a star in heaven that you cant reach..

Hush, you. So I like Disney Channel. High School Musical is POWER okay. Zac Efron's not bad too. I know you secretly love it! You think I dont know is it!?

Okay, I need to go fuck some books. Sounds so wrong. So let's try it again. I need to get intimate with my books. There. Better.


6:37 PM


19 August 2006

Huda V 2.0

Hello all.

So I nearly broke my back straightening up the house at 11 o'clock last night. :/ So much for making my room presentable. I completely freaked out. Dont ask why. Must be my Mother's genes.

See, I ended up sweeping the entire house (I wanted to mop too, but I thought we ran out of Ajax cos I didnt know my mum put it in her toilet), tidied up the dining table, the coffee table, the shoes on the shoe rack AND the shoe cabinet. I'll repeat it again. I nearly broke my back. ):

I even took the effort to clear my dressing table. (There were piles and piles of accessories littered on it. I found things I wont mention. It's too gross.)

And then at 12.53 in the morning, I received an sms.

This is Rachael from Urbantutors. We regret to inform that, the tutor who accepted the assignment previously just informed us that she cannot make it for lessons due to school commitments. We'll be arranging another tutor for you asap. Sorry for the inconvenience caused. Lesson that is scheduled for tomorrow shall be postponed. Sorry.

WAHHHHHH. I felt so cheated! But well, at least my room looks good now. If ti's any consolation. I was actually looking forward to it!

Anyway, in other news, I have officially morphed into a monster.

I am breaking out all over my face. And last night, my right eye kept on itching (must be the dust), so I kept rubbing it till it's red. Woke up this morning, and realised the right eye's smaller than the left eye.

My face is producing ridiculous amounts of oil. (I have THREE different facial wash thing. I bought the other two after bathing last night. I got a disgusting shock when I looked into the toilet mirror.) My hair! There's no control despite using that Dove thing and that Loreal serum. :/

I am looking like shite. So I'd really appreciate it if you don't mention to me how crappy I look the next time you see me. Thanks.


I, Nurulhuda Rasid, need to hit the books now before I start regretting everything else. Even if it means I'll be Huda Fug the next few months. Happy mugging. Cheers.

This day kicked most asses. If only time machines really do exist. Sigh.

1:00 PM


18 August 2006

Walk with me here

The past few days have been pretty good actually! So TGIF! (I just learnt this term last week or smth!) Actually that doesnt really make sense. Cos if the week's been good, there's no need for the weekend to boost your mood even more,yeah? But I just wanted to say TGIF. There again.

Skipped school today to attempt a hard core mugging session. Which of course didnt really turn out hard core but work was done. It's probably just a speck of work *waves hand* you know. Nothing compared to those crazy secret muggers who're the ultimate worse. I don't understand why people have to lie when someone asks them whether they've been studying. And it gets worse. They'll go "Omg NOOO. I've been slacking away lah!".

That's when you feel like putting a gun to their head. Ugh. But hey. It's they're call. How pissyfying they'd wna get.

Esplanade is so nice when there's good company and nice considerate people who're civil breathing the same air as you within that space. Especially to-be-nurses from Ngee Ann Poly who're really friendly and sweet and doesnt mind one bit when we make a wee bit noise losing our minds to the extent of moving our head in and out and doing stupid moves listening to the song presently on the radio, all due to stress AND tolerating me kicking her leg ever so often cos I cant stay still when I study.

Yay. Hello friendly person. It was nice studying opposite you, peeping over once in a while at what you're doing. I know you peeped too, so ^5. :D

I had a fight. I think. With a good friend yesterday. It was over several smses which just doubles the score in lameness. I'll call you. Soon enough. Just let me simmer off. I was just really pissed. And when you didnt get me, like you're supposed to, it blew my top. Trivial and stupid? Maybe. But you could've been more sympathetic and sensitive.

I've discovered yet another pet peeve of mine. If there's one thing I hate more than cockroaches sneaking up on me and assholes who dont move in when the bus is crowded and seeing strands of hair on the floor and my mind flipping 180 in an instant of whoa drama and losers who cant sing remain on Singapore Idol.. feigned ignorance and nonchalance. But see, at least this time round, my conscience's at rest.

Okay, so maybe stuff in other areas haven't been fantastic. But I'm sorry. There's no time for that. I need to get there. I need to be there. I need to. Up yours.

It's the last leg already! Hold on there.

Meeting new tutor tmr morning. She's coming at 9 in the fuckin morning please. I've never tried it before. Maybe I'm a morning person after all? Haha. I wonder who can vouch that!

Okay, night all. I need to make my room look presentable at least. Not some sty (which does not mean I'm calling myself a swine, bitch!) you cant study in! (:

Eh Fairuzzzzzzzz.. Did you manage to accomplish a lot today! SUCKER. I bet you did. Sigh.

9:44 PM


15 August 2006

My official proposal to me

My mum gave Kiki away. Without informing me whatsoever. I am really sad. ): Koko's all alone now. He keeps whining to me, mewing, wanting to be comforted. I'm so sorry Koko. ): I'll miss Kiki and his crazy antics. He's so blur. Like his mom. Talkig about Kieffy here. He falls off the bed very often. And each time he does it, it'd be in a different manner and the result of something new, like he was chasing his tail or smth.

I cant believe she did what she did. Cos she knows me too well. She knows that if she were to tell me, I'd object violently (ie not losing grasp of Kiki/locking him in my room just in case). Sigh.

I cut my nails yesterday morning. And never have I felt so happy to have short fingernails. The last time I had short nails was so long ago, I cannot recall. The feeling of my fingers, instead of my nails against the table for example is amazing. But I'll miss my sexy long finger nails. Let this be a constant reminder that I should stop thinking about stupid things as such and going out and having fun. And start getting serious about my studies. It's high time.

What I think is this. (The result of Mrs Chew's pep talk here) Since we cant have everything in life (although I still think it's possible. Though the moment she mentioned the probability of it, I half gave up hope.), it'll mean that more fun=less study time. DUH. So right about now, I should be feeling miserable and stressed with impossible break outs and dark circles from burning the midnight oil, and really stifled cos of my no-going-out-ness.

Which of course totally isnt happening since I've been going out the past million and one Saturdays. ):

I need more DRIVE. Okay, here's to the birth of the spanking brand new Huda!!!

No more Saturday/night outings. No more scanning through the Telescope picking which shows to watch for the day. No more being so extremely vain, it's retarded (ie Long nails/"OMG-I-BROKE-A-NAIL" bimbo-ness). No more drama elsewhere. No more distractions. No more reading of books. Okay, maybe this one still can. But not so much anymore. No more.. the list'll never end. But you get the idea?

I paid quite a bit of attention today during Malay. Which was kinda strange but good strange. Kinda regret not killing myself preparing for the Malay paper so I could maybe have gotten a 1. But well, things happen for a reason.

With that said, it too means lesser computer time. So I'll see you when I see you. (:

6:29 PM


13 August 2006

It's done for.

I think I totally ruined everything.

8:14 PM


Fireworks Frenzy

Hello everyone! It's 2.23 on a Sunday morning! ^5 Lock. It's really stupid eh, the things we do. Like being on the computer in the wee hours!

So today was a pretty nice day. (read:slack, no revision done) Woke up abt 11+, had some breakfast, which is a cup of good hot milo, and headed for the computer. I know! I suck, right!

After that, attempted to do some work, but failed. Was too distracted by the teevee! Also, caught Napoleon Dynamite which is such a stupid, boring show. I dont know why it was quite big in the States. I slept halfway, woke up and it still wasnt interesting enough. Ew. Such a disappointment, Naz!

Fairuz called sometime in between the show (thankfully cos it really bored me. See, I was giving it a chance. Going "No no, give it just 5 more mins and it'd be better", etc) to ask if I was gna go see fireworks! Initial plan was us three again, but Chan's not feeling too well.

Met Tasha and Fairuz at Cityhall and we trooped over to Esplanade. I know what you're thinking! "EH? Huda a bit extra right?" Butttttt they promised not to make me feel out and when I went "EH no! So extra!" when they asked me along, they just went "Huda, what rubbish! We're in the same Malay class what!". So I thought why not! Going out in new different groups shd be interesting!

We crossed the roads illegally. I was so scared! Seriously. The two of them are just mad lah. Note: Dont jaywalk with them cos you may just die. AND WHAT IF MY HEEL GOT CAUGHT IN THAT TAPE THING WHEN WE CROSSED.

It was a terrible crowd. What more, since it's the last display! It was jam packed. Really gross. In the MRT, on the way there was bad bad bad. It was really really gross and bad and puke-worthy I tell ya.

We saw a Cedar teacher! But we dont know her name! We were sorta trying to get away from her!

Blahblahblah! We totally squeezed through anyone and everyone and sat down in the midst of the super terrible sea of people seated. It was a case of inconsiderate ladies lying down on the floor while we're there trying desperately to find a spot to sit, smelly boys with bad B.O, kiasu families and irritating stupid people behind us who were making irritating stupid noise. (repetition for a reason!)

When the fireworks finally started, I was again, in awe. They're so pretty! Pretty pretty fireworks! But music-wise, I thought the arrangement of last week's was better.

We were talking about how it kinda felt like the end of the world. With the blasting of the majestic display of fireworks and the accompanying music. Like Armageddon. Don't ask. It just kinda felt that way.

After that, walked about to get food, decided to go to Marina but decided against it when we saw how bad the human jam was to get there! People looked like ants littered on the steps of Marina from where we stood! Settled for kaya toast and a cup of hot horlicks! Hot Horlicks for Huda. Hee. (<- Lock, this is your influence, I believe!)

Tasha went off to meet some ex-Cedarians. So Fairuz and I sat at Mrs Fields. OMG. A super duper weird thing happened! Hah. lazy to elaborate. But it was super weird lah!

OHH! The bunch of ex-Cedarians Tasha met included M. Jieying! Saw them later and "Hi!"s and waves were exchanged. Now, I'll just have to bump into M. Emmalyne to make it complete! (:

Took bus home again! Haha. Fairuz doesnt much like trains. Go figure. Listened to her NEW NANO and kinda thought of a lot of things. Now here, the term "brain bursting" seems fitting. Sigh.

Okay then, here are a few videos produced by Cedarians! School pride, my friends. School pride.

This is the video for the school's NDP celebrations!

And here's of the Leader's Investiture earlier this year!

This one here's by Kar Mun's group, 4N, who made this for the CE project. It made me cry. It made many cry. It's about losing a best friend. It's really touching. See it for yourself.

Sad, yeah? I cried buckets the first time I saw it. Sigh. Makes you wonder about how it'd be like in real life. If you were to lose a great friend.

Alright then, good morning everyone. I'm really ready to hit my lovely lovely bed now! It seems even more inviting cos my mum just changed the sheets! And yes! There happens to be a lot of exclamation marks in this entry! Why! Haha! Bye! :D

2:27 AM


11 August 2006

Come sail my way

[Fairuz' answers the thingy Clara did for me too!]

reply to this post and i will do this for you!

1. I'll respond with something random about you
2. I'll challenge you to try something
3. I'll pick a colour that I associate with you
4. I'll tell you something I like about you
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of
7. I'll ask you something I’ve always wanted to ask you
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your blog

1. everytime i go to tampines, i get reminded of you! HAHAHA.
2. confess to mr sng you have like a major huge ass crush on him! [I dont quite anymore lah! You've inspired me to stop stupid useless stuff like that. Really. Okay, maybe a bit still.]
3. purple!
4. i like that you speak what's on your mind without being tactless
5. um, hoobastank concert and then you were begging me to go take a train to tampines to accompany you cos you were scared! HAHA, remember?! [Actually no. I don't rmb that. But I rmb that you wore a pink mini and this black top Clara (Lee) liked cos she asked where you bought it from and you said Topshop. Haha. Why! Do I rmb stupid things like that. And not Maths formulas/lae wtv.]
6. cat!
7. wth do you see in mr sng?! hahaha. [excuse me. WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU SEE IN MR CHAN!]


Hello. Today. (: I'm telling you, I can butt my ass. Omg what!? I mean bet my ass (not that it's gna be up for bidding anytime soon) that I was gna get that friggin' C6. Man, that was some scary shit when Cikgu was announcing how many students got what grade outside the hall.

Eh, you know 1/3 of our class got A1s! Haha. Congrats, you guys. (: Siti, Naz, Shara, Azy! Woohoo! Smarty pants, eat shit. Lol.

Me? Oh no. Me no get a 1. ): Haha. I got a B3. Which I know, I shouldnt be so happy about cos like you know. Hello, a third of my class got 1s. (Btw, it's only a class of 12.) But nevertheless, I'm thankful. So uber grateful, that when I read the list, and saw a "D", then read again, saw the "3" and went "OMG. Cikgu, I got b3 is it!!!" and she said "Yah yah, sign here, quick", I was so relieved I shed tears and my hand was shaking like fuck cos I was yeah. Overwhelmed.

The "D" was for oral. Which stood for Distinction. :D Can you fuckin' believe that! Cos I couldnt! I was totally thinking of a D7 cos it didnt exactly register then that nobody got a 7. Lol.

But then, I started thinking. I mean, I'm not proud to say this, (or showing off, whichever way you choose to take it), but I didnt put in effort for the paper. As in I totally did not prepare for it. It got to such a bad extent, (my karangans? The left margin would be littered with like SIX "B"s, for Bahasa which would mean grammar/tense. Yes. Such basics.), that I really couldnt care less about Malay, thinking smugly and very stupidly may I add, to myself that "no, I wont be counting it anyways".

Oh, I got the lowest for mid years. A friggin 50, which is a bloody 6. Another reason why I was so sure I'd get a C6/D7 for Os just now.

Back to the point. What I'm trying to say is, I kinda do feel like I dont deserve this grade? I mean, I know of other people who really work their asses off, doing every single work Cikgu kept shoving down our throats, all the practice papers, the compos, etc. It's plain to see that they put in a lot of effort. And I'm there not doing a single damn thing, I didnt even do one practice paper, completing instead all the E/A Maths hw during Malay class or trying (sucessfully) to distract Cigku and really stupid things like that.

Then again, who are we to say who deserves what? Karma, perhaps. I mean, this is totally fate working here. (Lit today. Hee.) Higher powers. But seriously. It's funny how things work out sometimes. And then, we'd move on to the topic of complacency. Which would of course then be the downfall... (SS; Venice) Though if we doubt ourselves too much, being humble, it'd proceed on to esteem issues.. Which would cause our fall too... Ahh. Lovely cycles. Dont we love them?

Okay. I'm done talking about that.

After school, was my O Level English Oral Examination. Whoa, I know. It's like I slapped some cow and she slapped me back one for the right, and one for the left cheek. Hard. Without giving me a chance to recover from the first one!

But all was good. (: Haha. The general topic was Famous People/Celebrities. Ha! Ha! *sniggers* Now I can say that all the money/time wasted pouring over silly magazines and websites came in handy! It was so fun talking about it! As weird as it sounds. And I kinda took that Mr Ang (?)'s advice to treat them like our friends. So it was a jolly good conversation! Lol.

Mr Quail(?) was really nice. He responded well and paid close attention when I was speaking. I kinda miss that; people paying proper attention to what I say. Though I know Fairuz would probably just go "Wah. Huda. Damn merepek ah". Haha. But it's nice. Being listened to like that. Although I know full well that I listen only to what and when I want to which is both good and bad.

Huiyun was telling me all about how Lock and her were talking about the easiest way to get my attention. Which is to pretend that they're talking about me and insert my name suspiciously in their coversation and in a second I'd turn around and say "Yes! I heard my name! You were talking about MEEEEEEE!" *accusing stare*. And there you go. You've got my attention. Hah.

Oh, that was during lunch, at El Jay's (<- sp. yeah baby), where we happened to bump into Siti and Nuzie! (: I love all this little little spur of the moment things. Spontaniety. Kicks. Ass. Haha, right Natasha? Rmb that online conversation we had ages ago?

Anw, so after that headed for tuition. And guess who was there to make me feel EVEN better!? There seated, doing his work diligently, was this cute guy. AND. There was an empty space beside him! Unbelievable man. Haha. Though he left not long later. But still. Funkeh.

Okay. Bye guys! :D And NO OKAY. I am not uber happy and red during those lessons! *makes a face*

May the Winds of Fate blow it smoothly, rightly, and on course. This way please.

8:17 PM


10 August 2006

Being nice pays

Am so fuckin' relieved. Happy. Haha. Funny how things go about. (: No, make that a :D!

Oh, btw, Joakim? He doesnt deserve to still be in the competition. Jeez. Are those crazy pre pubescent girls DEAF. Seriously. And wth? Rahimah's out?! Excuse me, at least her voice's decent. Joakim should be crying. He caused her to be out. Basket. Case. Haha. Love that song.

Anw, since I'm in a pretty dang good mood, shall leave yah with some random pictures! Random random random! Hahahaha. Am I sickening you with this over happy post? Haha. Actually, now that I look it over, it isnt really all that happy, sickening happy what. There's that UGH Joakim.

So I've been thinking it over. Thoroughly and stuff. Couldnt be more complicated! Haha. Serious. Oh well, will take it as it goes, yeah? Oh that reminds me, I think Cameron Diaz is dorky she's too cute! Haha. Christina Applegate's nuts too! Yeap, I caught The Sweetest Thing just now. It's a cute rom-com. You know, I dont know how "taking it as it goes" reminded me of Cameron Diaz. Lol.

Youth Gone Wild! Quite the Madness. :D

Cool shot, no? (:

Youth Day '06 was spent "loitering" ard here.

Naz, Huiyun, Huda. Hah.

Table partners, yo! Sheena isn't that tall, trust me.

Naz, Dirah, ME. Captivated. (;

Haha. Okay, there you go! School tomorrow. Bummer.

8:59 PM



You are 11% messed up.

You are not messed up, which is odd because practically everyone else is. Maybe that makes you even more messed up than the others.
'How messed up are you?' at

Hah. Interesting. Anw Fairuz, thanks ah You know, I just did at least ten quizzes. I hate it when that happens. Gah. :/

12:12 PM


Messed up shit

Goodnight! (:

In short, today was a pretty good day. Met up with the Constants, after like a million and one years. Haha. The last meet-up was what? Gelare day? *shakes head* Way too long eh? I thought it was funny the day I said "I missed you!" to Najib on MSN and then he replied with "Mud said that to me just now! So that's two I-miss-yous today!". Basket. Dont know how to say "Imu too" first. LOL.

Ended up just chilling at Mariam's, after quite a long time contemplating about it at Rahimah's for me and Jib, cos Mud was at the stadium giving his dad moral support man! Zai was.. sleeping? And Mariam insisted on staying put at Kembangan.

It was quite nice up there at the roof top! It was her dad's idea to do that. So we ended up climbing the ladder propped against the roof and up we all went! It was nice, really.

Gigi? (sp?) One of her cats, was being really naughty biting me and stuff. No doubt it was playfully; I'm used to it after being a cat owner for practically half my life now.

God, I'm too lazy to elaborate already man. Well, we left her house about 10.30/45? Cabbed home with Najib, only to find Hungry Brother so we trooped down to Macs to get him something to eat!

Got back, bathed, talked to Mud on the phone, and yeap. Here I am.

Tmr. Gee, I've to really bust my ass. It's high time, man. Seeyah.

Whoop dee doo. Cos it's all fucked up!

2:10 AM


08 August 2006

The last time Cedar celebrates for us

Hello. Today was an excellent day! Fabtastic! Ndp school celebration rocked. As usual, everyone was in extremely high spirits in the hall singing out loud (even for those who can't. ie Me), shouting, even. Haha.

I thought this year's one was really nice. So much effort put in it! Although the "Blue! Green! Red! All lights!" kinda failed cos I guess everyone was too excited to bother about the timing! The video was vereh vereh nice! The videos for any occasion always turn out great! All hail Novabelle. (: The scene she got 4c to do was so retarded. It was hilarious watching it.

And then I saw me throwing the National Day token, the nehneh brandless towel, into the air with a retarded expression of utter delight painted on my face. LOL.

Dirah looked so fucking hot, can! Haha. (random)

Post school celebration rocked balls too. Haha.

Lunched at with Siti, Fatmah and Murny. Attempted to take group shots. Us=Suckers at self-aiming. So we got Sadiq to hurry come down to play Photographer. The whole bunch of us rushed to the toilet to um, check ourselves out? Haha. Vain, yah, okay. I know. (:

And then when we were all ready, mid pose, the camera started flashing "Empty Battery". HAHA.

Went on to meet up with J, then later Dirah at Marina!

Tried on a million and one clothes at Zara and Topshop. It was madness. There were clothes littered all over the floor! And the clicking of the camera was non-stop! (read:camwhored)

Oh! Met M. Charmaine when I peeked out of the cubicle, only to see her walk (hop?) in excitedly with clothes in her arms ready to get down to some try-out action! HAHA.

We werent the only ones who did what we did! It was so funny when we heard the camera sound effect thingy in some other cubicle.

Okay, this is so abrupt, but I gtg. Show starting.

I can't say what I want to anymore.

11:07 PM


07 August 2006

Monday Bumday

Today was pretty messed up. I actually cried because of -. Embarrassing, really. My god. Stupid I swear. At least nobody saw except for you, but that's different. (: I was so frustrated and seething with anger and disgust from head to toe. I was hell annoyed, you cannot imagine. I was this close to snapping. Turns out I wasnt the only one. So that was good, I guess? ^5 you!

I know you read this! Haha. I didnt think anybody would notice. I thought it was yknow, stupid and insignificant enough to be missed. Thought wrong, eh? Was really touched when you called. Haha. Muacks. Thank you. (: (I'm being sincere here so if you think otherwise SCREW YOU LAH! Lol.)

I'm talking to a girl btw, in case you were wondering.

Tmr will be a great day! Since this year's NDP celebration seems to be a pretty darn big thing, considering everything! All the activities and stuff. PLUS. It's our last year. And we all know how nuts Cedarians can get come NDP celebrations in school!

Okay, so here are a couple of pics of lovely Saturday! They're kinda small, you have to sort of squint. Again, I'll have to say that the pictures of the pretty fireworks are nothing compared to the real thing, even though it's exhausting itself narrating thousand word essays! (Omg, I am so witty!)


That'll be all! Have a goodnight!

Oh. One last comment. The world is so friggin' shrinking as I speak! I swear, each time something totally like that happens, I'd be struck by the sheer coincidence of it all. It's a small world! Do you still rmb how to sing that song? I kinda forgot the tune! Lol.

K bye.

9:32 PM


06 August 2006


(or as close as I can possibly get to right now taking everything into consideration)

Hello. Right now, I feel pretty contented. Why? Well, Class95's on and they're playing great music, I met my BIG OLD WISE AND MATURE brother just now after so darn long, I think I got my drive back and I'm gna get my HAWT SEXAYYYEE phone on Weds cos it was out of stock just now. :D

OH. Also, Hakiem aka Bratty Younger Bro got it from my mum about his addiction to computer games just now. Bloody icing on the cake, me swears. Take that Hakiem! *sticks out tongue

So that makes it 3 happeh days in a row! Oh goodie. (HUDA THE PRELIMS ISNT VERY FAR.)

Friday, Aniszah came over and we, as always, had a great time. I love the way we can just go over to each other's place and just hang out and at the end of the day, it feels as good as going out. Better even. I owe you a present, yes I'm aware.

I wanted to go catch TLT at Esplanade that night! But nobody wanted to go with me! *wails. (I'm looking at you Fatmah, Siti, Aniszah) Fuckers. Haha, no lah. But Niz! I'll forever hold it against you. I promised you I will. I will okay. Just watch me, you!

Went for E/A maths tuition that evening. It went surprisingly very well! Had a good talk with one of the girls while walking to Kem Mrt and yes. So now you know. Looking forward to Friday! (:

SATURDAYYYYY. How do I even begin? It was really *the* fab. (:

Early in the fuggin' morning got a wake up call from Fatmah. Yknow, I think her groggy/grumpy-I-just-woke-up voice is one of the WORST I've heard so far. Buttt. I think mine may just be worse. Lol. Ask Najib. I was really horrible to him and started to curse and god knew what else to him on the other line! Haha, sry dude! Hey, YOU interrupted my beauty sleep!

Studied at Starbucks for a while. Oh guess what. I was earlier than her! YAY. So that's a big FuckYou to all who assumed I'd be late for every damn thing! :p Haha, no I didnt mean it in that way. Take a joke. (:

We had a scary encounter with this creepy man. Eeee. Dunch wna talk abt it.

After a couple of hours, we got up and went shopping! Heh. We went to probably only 4 stores/booths max, in front of Taka there. And I got 3 tops, she got two. Went back, hogged the Starbucks toilet for a good fifteen minutes trying the tops on! One of the nicer ones looked like the ultimate FUG on me. Fatmah tried it, looked hot (what's new), so she bought it from me!

Whee. FRIDAY! FRIDAY! FRIDAY! I can't wait. *squeals

After that, trained to City Hall to meet up with the 4c lovelies, namely, Sheena (she was disgustingly late. haha), Liane, Diana and Fairuz. I was extremely early so I sat on the steps and read my book. Damn geek I know. Let's all inculcate that habit, for future conveniences, yeah?

We caught Lakehouse which IS (not was) so fucking awesome, I find it hard to believe ST rated it 3 stars! It's so romantic and very very sweet. It's basically and very vaguely about a love that transcends space and time... *sigh

I love this movie. It has topped my indecisiveness and is uno numero on my Fav Movies list! That's saying ALOT, okay.

It was really sweet. Diana, seated beside me was being such a crybaby. She was sobbing like the idiot she is. As romantic as I am, I did not cry kay. (Teared a bit. But not cry cry.)

Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves look really great together. *sigh. I loved Speed a lot. I still have the LCD somewhere in the store! (Omg. LCD. I've not heard this term since last year's Be Yourself Day!)

The storyline's amazing. Except maybe, yknow. For those who cant get it. :p My heart just went lup-dup-lup-dup (HAHA. Bio, much?) in this superb speed (hah, get it? speed.) when Kate realised that he was the guy that was in the accident she witnessed cos he saw her and rushed to her and that's why he didnt turn up for their date at that posh resaturant reserved two years before hand, rushed to the lakehouse, wrote the letter, telling him to be patient and wait, stuffed it into the mailbox and waited impatiently for the mailbox handle to move.

Ohmygod. That scene. Great suspense at work here. The wait was long enough for us to speculate and go "OH FUCK. What if it's a horrible ending?! What if he dies!!! I'll hate this movie if he dies." but not too long for us to get sick of waiting, yknow?

The fact that he waited a total of four years, if we got it right, to be with her, was really amazing. I love the whole idea of love beating time and coming in the winner at the end of it all. *deep long sigh

It sounds confusing, so go catch it and melt into the whole idea of lurrrvvee.... Sweet love..

(Ohmygosh. Realised that this has turned out into a disgustingly long entry.)

After the movie, the bunch of us trooped over to BK to lunch and idiots were discussing Maths. I couldnt participate cos I've not gotten the paper! Which was really good cos I'd feel the shits if I got the paper and didn't do it.

Liane had to leave for church so the four of us walked about, scanning the shops for a red top cos Fairuz doesnt have any. (rightt...) Nothing pleased her. *rolls eyes* Zara, Miss Selfridge, Warehouse, you name it. Ain't got it.

Went to Esplanade later. And suddenly it's just us three, Diana, Fairuz and I cos the other two abandoned us for other plans. Suckers. (:

The mood, the air, the sights, the everything seemed really cool and calm and well, at peace. Haha. However weird it sounds. Too bad the thought of Prelims turned us off.

We camwhored a lot, actually. (Pictures another day cos Diana conveniently forgot to send it to me) Acted like tourists oohing and ahhing about the sudden beauty we see in dear Singapore. Heh.

It's quite embarrassing to say this in public (sortof) but it was the first time I went up close and personal with the Merlion. Haha. Some Singaporean.

Trained to Cine to meet Janine so the two can decide whether to get Nano or Video. I gave up, sat on the sexy comfy red chair and took out my book. Haha. Loser Diana was thirsty not long later so the two of us went to get some really good soya bean.

Her phone died, I dont have one, went back up to the Apple shop and the two of them weren't there. So we resorted to shouting out their name from the second floor and they actually replied from the first! Cool not!

Janine had to leave for her Ah Gong's Birthday so the three of us walked to Wisma to drop by Forever 21 to see if there's a red top that idiot could actually like then buy. She bought a red top. SHOCKER THERE.

By then, my feet were already dead. (It half died walking to Cine) Excuse me. Try wearing 5 inch high wedges from 9 in the friggin' morning till eight++, and tell me how that feels. Dont start shooting me down cos I had no idea we were gna do so much walking. Fairuz, I wasnt exaggerating at the taxi stand. Really.

Cabbed back to Esplanade which was *the* HELL. Ten fuckin' bucks from Taka to Esplanade. Whoop dee doo. Fuckin' taxi driver was so annoying. I cant believe he couldnt INFER from our dying interest in whatever he has to say, our tone, MY roll of eyes. He was so money minded on top of all that.

Hee. We were J2 students studying in RJ with Prelims in four weeks time. That was funny. Especially the part where we didnt lie matchingly, cos Fairuz and I said Arts while Overachiever Wannabe Diana said Science. But did he catch it? Oh god no...

It was so darn packed! So we had to make do with seating on the pavement of some small park near the Padang. The fireworks were really gorgeous. Words cannot describe and photos taken dont do them justice. (No offence, Photographer) It was really really pretty.

I had no idea there were so many different patterns! The way they explode, there were so many different styles! Haha. Pretty pretty pretty fireworks. The accompanying music suit the fireworks well too. I thought the arrangement was great.

After the fireworks display, they played sappy sad songs (Ah.. the "soft" sound the consonant "s" makes... lol.) that just made us think/feel/talk about that whole issue. Instead of getting up, we just sat there talking away about.. well a lot of things, really.

Reluctantly got up and walked to some bus stop to actually take a bus home. (One of those rare instances!) Stopped by 7-11 to get water first tho.

Well, it was a really great day. Quite surprised it turned out as good as it did, actually. (: the company was a different but good one. Haha.

TODAY! Finally caught the latest episode of Life As You Know It cos I missed it on Tues cos of tuitionnnnnn!! Went to tuition(!!) after that and HAH! I was early yet again!! Take that take that, TAKE THAT. Which reminds me, I missed it on Starworld just now! ):

So after that, dadidada... Met Abang Khaliff!!! Checked out the phones, reserved it, settle all the paperwork, chose the number but it's out of stock. But hey, Weds isnt that far away. :D

By then, everything was either closed or closing so we had to settle for Fast Food. Ew. Hi carbs, hate you. Burger King it was, and we so we had an extremely late dinner. Badbadbad. Well, it was really nice, the three of us, Mama, me, him, talking and stuff. I felt quite enlightened actually.

I have a really wise, elder AND old brother who actually acts his age! *stares at the Sister. He's an instructor in NS so he gets to bully the NSmen. LOL. He was talking about it with such relish! Haha.

But we did cover some "serious" topics too. I was just really happy. Correction. Am really happy. Must be the phone.

Oh. I thought I saw you just now. It just. Brought back truckloads of memories. Bittersweet and suddenly, I felt wiser. Even if it's just a wee bit wiser, but still wiser all the same.

Okay, here will do. (Haha. I bet you were tapping your feet waiting impatiently to finish reading this UBER long post you impatient twerp!)

PS: Fairuz, Diana. No news lah tmr/today/wtv. I suck. *sobs

11:59 PM


03 August 2006

Screaming out loud in silence

The blow, oh the blow.

It's coming down hard. Right now, everything seems so fucked up. School, friends, family and everything else in between.

Blasting music in hopes of drowning out everything. What a stupid try. Obviously not working.

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

I feel really horrible. Today is my best friend's birthday and I've not gotten her a gift! What's worse, is that I just realised it's been more than a month since I last saw her. Imu girl!

Happy Sweet Sixteenth, Aniszah! I love you loads. Yknow when you didnt pick up my call, I was really starting to panic. "Omfg. What if I don't get to wish her at all!?" But thank God you called back. (:

Whatever it is, things fuck up. And I've mentioned this quote before (sometime last year I think) but I'll just mention it again, cos it's times like this I really just feel like going about life with a carefree attitude and wave my middle finger to the whole fucking wide world. It's so appealing. But so darn full of farce right down your throat.

Life is like a dick.
Fuck it when it's hard.

10:19 PM


02 August 2006

It's spilling... out!!

Woohoo. Bringing to life the meaning of word vomit. Have fun. (:


It really is amazing how one can just slip into this state of extreme self-indulgence. Hah. At first, it's merely testing the waters. Next that feeling of breaking free starts to sink in. The whole take-a-sneak-peek-but-you'll-never-know-the-whole-story seems appealing. And so it gets stuck cos it's so god damn addictive. Guilty pleasure, anybody?


I was late for school, the second time today. Reason? I took a different route. It's a long and rather stupid and not the least bit important. Decided that since I'm gna be late after all, why bother rushing? Which was why I was walking in at complete ease.

Speaking of that. I was walking in solo (everyone taking the Macpherson route happened to be early this time round). I really wasnt in the mood to bother about being late for school.

Anyway, so I was just passing that house with that very prominent Buddhist sign; the first time I spotted it, "Fuck. This guy's a Nazi" crossed my mind, cos see, I had no idea that the two symbols were very alike back then. Suddenly this bright blue car stops right beside me and this lady said, "Girl, would you like a lift to your school?"

"*smiles. Uh nah, it's okay. Thanks. "

Needless to say, I was pretty stunned. But I like the whole idea. Her son, was in the front seat, a Cedar Primary kid, so she just decided to offer me a ride since it's on the way and I suppose she kinda guessed that I was late. It just really made my morning.

Yet another reason why I was strolling in and Clara who came in a cab saw me and thought she wasn't late.

Mrs Chew: Clara! And Huda ah. My monitress and assitant monitress!
Me: We knew that was coming!

*when we handed over the late-coming slip to her at the foyer

Told you, Lock. Haha.

I've another incident to cite.

So it was last night, on my way to Kem (where I was 20 minutes late, omg. I swear I thought I was gna be early. Sorry! Another case of taking a different route. Really.), in the mrt. I was staring at my (or rather Jazzy's and Naz') Organic Chem notes trying to absorb the properties of Alkanes, where little actually got in my head and stayed there till at least the test.

There was this little boy in a pram (not more than 2 years old). His mother was seated, with the pram right in front of her. He'd play with a receipt on his mothers lap. He also kept on dropping that piece of receipt on the floor. Each time he does that, his mother, fully prepared with a mini cane on her lap, would strike his arm. She doesn't do it very gently or playfully mind you. It was a real whack on his tender flesh.

And each time she hits him, he'd jump in presumably shock and pain and look up to his mother with confusion and hurt written all over his face. His face really bore a pained expression, an utterly confused child. His mother would just say "You do that again! Do it! Do it and you'll see." At times, even pointing her forefinger in his face. He'd only respond with an even more confused expression, eyes wide with uncertainty.

I had to look away, though I can't help glancing back the next second. It was painful to watch. There were red marks on both his arms. He's less than 2 years old most definitely! He's still using a pram for god's sake! His mother was really cold the entire time.

I can't help but wonder how these parents go about beating their kids regularly. Perhaps, I'm not in any position to question how they bring up their kids, since I am indeed still a "child" and very much kidless.

The times either of my parents laid a finger on me can be counted with one hand, in my entire fifteen plus years. They don't believe in the physical "method of teaching". Personally, I don't get it either. What the parents would create is just fear. I doubt fearing your folks will really help at the end of the day? You wouldn't be sure what's acceptable and appropriate and wouldn't dare take the chance for fear it'd be the wrong thing and WHAM, another one at cha.

I mean, I get it. It's to teach us a lesson, so we'd never do it again, to "drill" it in, learn that actions have consequences, yada yada yada. And some even say that if you don't fear your parents then that's where you're in hot soup. Cos then it'd mean that you're a kid with "no principles" who'd just end up screwed or something.

I don't know.

Anyway, if it's in such regularity, it just becomes numb. That's worse, isn't it?

My parents believe in communicating which just makes more sense to me. *shrugs

Okay, enough of all the wonderings. I'll just see how things go twenty five years from now, yeah?

Initially, I kinda intended on writing an entire post critiqueing the idols. Look how far off I ended up. Haha.

So Singapore Idol today. My heart stopped when they said Joakim and Paul were gna sing Oasis and Robbie Williams. "Wah die. Confirm screw up and spoil the song." Was I right or what.

I think Nurul and Rahimah were very cool. Enjoyed both their performances. Except the part where Nurul suddenly took off the mike, I got quite a shock. Lol.

Both guys that I'm partial towards were greatly praised tonight! YAY. Hady was great, as usual. I didn't quite like it when Florence compared him to Taufik! I mean, I do see the resemblence, but once she said it it's like gna be an endless comparison for him! Poor thing, my hady.

There's something appealing about Jonathan! From the first result show the other time, I've always felt this "thing" for him. Haha. I know many thinks he's very beng looking and so ZOMGZ cheena. BUT HE'S NOT OKAY. I like him. He's so slick and laidback, it's hot. His voice... *swoons. Jonathan Leong's sexy, shut up.

But Hady's sexier lah. :D

I think the guy judges were PMSing today man. Dick Lee's uber hyper while Ken's all bitter and glum. LOL.

Okay, I need to get some sleep now. I told you it was word vomit.

11:11 PM


01 August 2006

That's why we have pets then

School is getting to me. It's slithering under my skin. Giving me the creeps. How it seeps in unknowingly, then chooses to settle down and start its shit. Argh. I don't even think I'm making sense anymore! Sheesh. The first signs of stress kicking in, perhaps?


Sometimes, I'm ready to rip my hair off. Sometimes, I need the support and belief too. Sometimes, I need help. Sometimes, I need to know. Sometimes, I feel unloved too. I know it seems lame, now that it's in print. But I think you know what I mean. *Sigh

I feel so. Submerged. Drowning in all misery has to offer it gets extremely sad. The fire, gets real small. Has been for quite some time now. It needs to be reignited.

You know the feeling of knowing exactly it, and yet not knowing anything at all? It's so fucking weird not to mention frustrating.

Like a ball thrown back and forth, flung left to right, recklessly passed from girl to girl during PE. It emits joy, sure. Girls squeal in delight at having caught it. After it's done its job, though, it's a different story. It gets tossed carelessly aside, waiting for the first kind soul to pick it up and put it nicely in the PE room, while everyone else heads off to change into their skirts.

I feel like that fucking ball now. Patiently, I stand here.

All you want is someone who understands. Yeah, that's why we have friends. But I don't want those who'd understand but question at the same time.

5:41 PM


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