The key is to ignore. I'll try to work on that. Ignore, ignore, ignore.
The past week, has been eventful. I'll try to be brief, but I usually fail at this.Sunday
Went to the Expo John Little Sale. Got a couple of stuff for myself. But it's mostly for the house. Like bedsheets, etc. Nothing interesting.Monday
The bunch of us went to Sirius' Bbq at East Coast. Met Clara at Siglap first, we arrived an hour late, all ready to get down to some food action. But noooo
.. Haha. A couple of Delphinus' lovelies were already in the water! So joined them we did! Played Twister too and that was fun. Gave up after some time and just plonked down on the mat itself.
Cycled too. And man, the distance we covered, was pretty amazing.(: My upper thighs started to hurt later that night. But hey it was fun cycling behind Clara and in front of Hilda.
The rest came soon after, and it was Titee time! Mucked about, doing dumb stuff and taking stupid videos and pictures!
Lots of fun, laughter and stupid Kodak moments caught! Paul Fourhill!(: Hanging out with you girls totally kick ass! :D
Truth or Dare, too, with everyone. Or at least for the most of us who weren't by the pit and everyone later at night. This game is so much fun. I mean, when you have people with ample creative jucies constantly on the flow; ie ME. Lol.
There were buttkisses, fake "angry-then-scold" skits which failed miserably, "How come there's no turtle food for Tom!?", confessions, and HOHO! This is ZEE
coolest. (Okay. That reminds me of 4C! I miss my rocking class!) Clara poured a handful of sand down her bra! Well, she was wearing a sports bra so she pulled the bottom too so the sand was just going through, get it? Haha. I love Lee!
At night, it was the loveliest. Sitting at the breakwater, looking on to the sea, with the various tinges of colours fusing to produce amazing hues which just blows. you. away.. It was already so gorgeous at East Coast. I can only imagine what it'd all look like if we were at Changi!
And then the night sky came. Red moon, stars, clouds, wow. The moon was so red and so low! It was especially strange, cos I couldn't count all the stars using my hands! There's just this magical feeling about the night sky. Or maybe it's just what it all represented, it's significance, as I would soon come to know.
We sent lighted sparklers flying into the water! I know it's littering, but well.. ANYWAY, it was so pretty seeing it sail across the air like that! We also had a lightstick competition. We'd drop our lightsticks into the water and cheer it on; "Go Huda!" "Come on Clara!". I thought it was really cool watching it bob up and down. It's like your very own "tracing tab".
Basically, it was fun. Period.CLICK
for more pics!Tuesday
It was the second day of the Lit seminar. All of us were at Somerset late!
Me: *after talking to Murny, realizes Sadiq's there* Eh? What are you doing here?!"
Sadiq: Ohhh.. Jumpe orang bukan nak cakap "Hi".
I thought that was just funny. I don't know. Haha. Don't put down my sense of humour please. It didn't do anything to you.
We came in late and ohgosh. Quite embarrassing. Cos the whole bunch of us streaming in late were Cedarians! Lol. Everyone was "lost". You can see the various groups from Cedar walking here and there around Somerset. Dumb. Lol. Nuzie got irritated so she asked some guy who works there and YAY! Haha.
Oh yeah. I left my wallet behind; inside the tent at East Coast. How I got home? Well, my ezlink card was slid conveniently into my back pocket. And the seminar tickets were inside! So you can imagine my horror right. I was all "Oh no. The seminar tickets." and then it was "Shit. MY IC!!!". Jumbled priorities.
Anyway, after the seminar, four of us, Siti, Nuzie, Ambrish and I ate at Cine's El Jay's. I thought that Douglas guy or whatever, Ambrish's friend, was hilarious. Haha. I'll bet he was scared of us. Heh.
So after that, a total spur of the moment thing, Siti and I ended up buying movie tickets to watch The Nun
! She was whining, going all "Nonono!! I don't want lah. Eh, it's gna be scary you know". But powerful me managed to
convince her. It was the first time I caught a movie at Cine's 9th floor.
Five minutes into the movie and *suddenly* this couple walks in! Behold! Nuzie and Ambrish! Lol. They decided spontaneously to watch the movie too. Weirdos.
The movie was not bad actually. Better than The Omen
, to me. We were freaking ourselves out. There was also this bunch of girls beside us who were freaking themselves out too. So it was funny. I mean, picture a whole row of girls all scared and ready to scream, making stupid faces anticipating the worst. Lol.
Let me tell you this. I can write movie scripts. All my predictions came true! How cool is that! :D
The twist at the end was good! And that funny guy, the Spanish girl's bf? He totally READ my mind
. After the flashback, I was telling Siti, "Omg! It's like I Know What You Did Last Summer
! Haha!". And then he said, "So what's this? Some kind of I Know What you Did 18 Summers Ago
?!" His character is so adorable.
But one thing I don't get. How come all of it's got something to do with water? I mean. It can't be a coincidence that they all die when the water pipe/tap/shower starts going mad! I don't know. Some parts just doin't click nicely to me. Or perhaps it's just me?
I've discovered something. I love
to scare the shit out of myself. I'm scared yes, but man! There's a weird kick to it! Lol.Wednesday
I can't recall this day. How pathetic. I think it revolved around couch potatoe-ing around, magazines, attempts to study.. OH! Singapore Idol
! Hady! Haha. I'm not nuts over him, like how I was over Taufik two years ago. (Man! It's been 2 YEARS!?) He's cute! I just wna pinch his cheeks and declare him mine forever so I can do whatever I like to/with him. Hello. Away with the sick thoughts please.
I called once for Hady and Jay. A buck gone. Mother doesn't know I called. Haha.
"Heaven" is one song I really really
like. Nick sang that song before in some concert. I saw the video and thought he sang it so nicely! :D Oh Nick..
Sheer vegetation. The loser that I am. :/Friday
The third and final day of the Lit seminar. It wasn't Sadiq this time, it was Ambrish. Lol. Didn't make the same mistake though so cheers for me!
The seminar was on The English Teacher
. I think it's the most urgh
one of all three. Cos unlike the 12th Night
seminar, half of what that lady was talking about, we were hearing it for the first freaking time! That's not too good now is it! But when Nuzie's question was answered, "Oh my god.. *sighs*groans" For all we know it may not even be relevant to us! Sheesh. But it was useful I guess.
It was Fatmah's sweet sixteenth! So after the seminar, Nuzie went off with Ambrish while the three of us, Murny, Siti and I we went to Wisma's Topshop to get her gift. The sales people there seem to have not heard of their gift card or something. How odd. Purchased the $50 gift card and took a bus to Dhoby Gaut.
Brought her to Fish&Co Glasshouse to makan.
Fatmah was late, so the 3 of us were sitting down at Dhoby Gaut's control station waiting for the birthday girl. We looked like beggars! Murny suggested we place our hand cup-like. *rolls eyes*. We came across all sorts of people. Tourists/weirdos.. People who kept taking photos of the MRT station, cute amgmoh guy, etc.
It was quite an interesting view. Cos our eyelevel was pretty much at crotch level. So the glancing up of things was interesting. I mean you know. We had to look up to look at people. Lol.
Guess who we met there!!! Quick guess, quick!
Don't tell you! HAHA. Gosh, so irritating right! :D
Late lunch/ early dinner (Lunner? Linner? Dunch?) at Fish&Co was really fun. It was tons of fun and laughter. Mocktails, that Pink something that I drank ROCKED. We spent 2 hours there I think. Took our own sweet time eating, stuffing our faces! Cos ohmygod. A lot of food! Because I couldn't finish it, lost the "deal". Didn't get my ten bucks. ):
We were making the most noise there. Lol. The songs they play are really good. Covers a wide range, which is the cool thing. Oysters are sooo
We sang Happy Birthday to her! She taught us the Arab version. I can't remember it though. Lol. Since she was the birthday girl.. Poured ice water down her shirt or rather cleavage! HAHA. At least it's not something sticky!
Finally we paid the bill and cabbed to Orchard. Murny and Fatmah went off while the two of us went on to meet J! There was this big hoo-hah, some Gatsby promotion. Lots of tall ladies, models I presume, wearing miniskirts and tubes giving out balloons and tatoos and sample sets, I think.
The balloon was so YELLOW and CHEERY, I had
to have it. So I asked for one. Yay. The balloon totally radiates childlike happiness, it's amazing. The only thing that spoiled it was the word "Gatsby" printed in black. But it wasn't very FWOAH significant, so it was okay. YELLOW BALLOONS! And it was with a string some more! Not the stick kind. I'll tell you it's sad tale later.
So met the very simmered J outside Tangs. Cos we said we'd meet her in 15 but only came much later. Eh, not our fault! The taxi queue at Park Mall was terrible.
Headed to Shaw where she gave the remaining tickets, the money and she got an early dinner treat. Her, not us. Those girls are.. my gosh. I don't know what to say man. Really. All I know is that somebody's lapping it all up. Taking everything shoved his way. Lol. Not much different from Taufik. Whoops. :x
There we were at the Starbucks tables area, I was talking along with the norm hand gesturing and suddenly the balloon started floating off! I cry. )':
After that, train-ed to Bedok and took a cab to East Coast! Fatmah's mum organized a Surprise Party for her. All her cousins, aunts, uncles, etc were there. Guess what. She wasn't the only one surprised that evening.
She still had no clue even when Farah and Aunty Aishah brought her to East Coast. She bought the whole story, can you believe it! And you know what. It's not the first time Aunty Sukma did this; the whole surprise party at East Coast thing was done before. Blur or what. That's Fatmah for yah.
So then got home around 11/12? I don't remember.Saturday
I can't recall that day. It was all too blur, really.
I do remember being such a cow to my mum in the morning, making such a big deal out of boiling water and making coffee, which I've been doing the past god knows how long. I banged, grumbled, cussed a lot while making coffee and toast till she finally went, "Ok, what's your problem Huda?"
I know. I'm such an idiot right? I wanted
my mum to ask me. :x
And she's so cool lah. When I was about to relate the ordeal to her, she stared at my nails and went "Why do you bother painting your nails when you paint it Nude anyway?! *puzzled look*".
Sheesh. What timing. I love my mum. I love Mud and Najib and Aniszah too. I love them LOADS for everything. I was sung to on the phone! Like how sweet is that! (:
It was so ironic! There I was, a lovely evening by the beach with great company, and then it all exploded. Right at my face.
Man, never have I felt such a strong emotion. It's like the mother of all emotions. Cos all other emotions are rolled along with it. It's just that way.
This one powerful feeling, brings about a ton others. Like a ball of snow, an avalanche rolling down the slope, the more it rolls, the bigger it gets. It gets so big it's a hazard. Death can result from it, people get hurt, bruised, and scarred. From that mere ball of snow, that the kids thought would be fun to make, things went overboard, the ball starts rolling and suddenly people get hurt. It was harmless
, wasn't it?
Or so you thought.
I've been reading up stuff to get a better perspective, you know, to gather your thoughts, feelings, the whole thing. It all just stuns me. Like whoa
. The intensity of it all, the post-tell all, the significance.. Everything.
It sucks when you think you know someone, they do something and you're like, "Hold it there just one minute. I'm supposed
to know you. It's not supposed
to be this way". You know the whole, when-you-think-you-know-you-actually-don't, just for thinking
it. It's okay if you don't get me. Cos I don't get me half the time either.I try
I try not to be bitter.
I try to understand.
I try to be kind
But how then does it end?
I try to be forgiving,
I try to forget
I try to start anew
But I know that I'll just fret
I try not to be harsh
I try not to be critical
I try to be giving
But it just makes me more cynical
I try to relate
I try not to judge
I try to make some sense of it
That it's nothing but a smudge
I try to not get affected
I try to not get hurt
I try to be stronger
But the efforts turn to dirt
I try to get over it
I try to let it pass
The movie's playing over and over again
Till it's nothing but smashed glass
A glass of hope,
A glass of trust.
A glass of betrayal
To break it, I must.
So here I stand,
Confused and stumped.
Being trusting doesn't pay. Perhaps I should learn to be more careful, not be so open to people in general, and master the art of Deception and the world of Connivance.
They say you'll only be able to live comfortably when you learn to trust. Well, they're wrong. Either I’ve been a fuckin’ horrible person this lifetime or the previous and got it all wrong, or some people will have to learn the true meaning of trust and friendship.
I don't know what to think anymore.
The joke's on me isn' t it?
It's just funny that I didn't trust my gut feeling, cos oh you know
it's called trust. Such trust that you refuse what your head
is telling you cos your heart
seems to think otherwise. Whatever.
Folks, if there's one thing I learned, your gut instinct should never be shoved aside.Sunday
Nothing interesting happened.
Today. Been thinking about it for some time now. Considering it carefully. That email did it. I'll do it. Oh my god. I'm so scared. But I know I have to do it.