Red Hot Passion
10 October 2006

My other predicament

Stupid stupid stupid.

Why do relationships have to be so hard?! Fuck you, I'm not talking about couple relationships. Although that probably has to be hard (more so). I here, am referring to simple (or not) people-people relationships.

What kills relationships? Inbalance. And crack-brained twits who dont know shit about the term "compromise". Ironic really cos crack-brained, they are not.

The reason is stupid. Although understandable. But it leaves you wondering, "Not worth it huh". And that is what I lack comprehension in. :/ Yeah, I am worth it, shoot me for saying that.

People come and people go. It just really isnt nice when you're the one being "freed" without really being freed. Go figure, cos honestly, I've yet to.

5:26 PM

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08 October 2006

(still) Awaiting the funeral

So. It's been a while and will continue to be so till... The O'levels are officially six feet under.

D.O.D (Date of Death): 20th Nov 2006

I have been so obsessed about the Carters/BSB, all things Nick Carter related basically. Downloaded a whole load of stuff (radio interviews/photos) and watching youtube like crazy when I do go online. (Which is pretty rare actually. Okay so I sneak 5 minutes here and there to simply check my mail and friendster and this page. Heh.)

Watched The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (One "L"! Yes! I've noticed!). Finally. Cos I never got around to actually watching it. See, I've been recommended to watch it a couple of times. Unexpectedly, it's pretty good! I like the plot. I wna go to Greece! It's so pretty. Ha, the guys not bad too lah but well, I'd be there to sight-see! Really.

Bridgit is HAWT. Her legs omg her legs! Haha and she was so cool flirting with Eric the "forbidden guy". Her confidence was man.. Totally admirable.

Cried the most when Bailey said that the magic was the fact that the pants brought Tibby to her. God I'm such a sucker for stupid small tear-jerker scenes that arent even tear-jerkers really.


Nick went out with Ashlee Simpson to get back at Hilton for cheating on him with Chad freakin' Michael bloody Murray when he was still with Sophia Bush!!! Poor Nick and Sophia. I mean I do love him in One Tree Hill and all. BUT OMG ASSHOLE.

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Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick. <33>

So, I managed to catch the video of Paris Hilton's new single. And you know what. Even though she was such a cow to Nick, my poor poor Nick; hah ironic, I love it. The song's cute enough, better than Stars Are Blind. But the video was wow! Love it, love it, love it!

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Obviously, inspired by the movie Girl Next Door, the plot's the same, even shot exact scenes! And if my eyes didnt trick me, I thought I saw Elicia Cuthbert in the opening scene, where the seriously-Emile-lookalike got his head dunked in the toilet bowl.

The music vid for Nothing In This World is interesting and fun to watch to say the least. For me, vids with a storyline are the best! It's even quite inspiring, you know? Of course, with that said, you're probably wondering.. "Inspired? By Paris Hilton? Do you wna be the next riches-to-porn-to-stardom-forgiven-slut?!" And yeah, not like I'm Ivana Trump or smth to get all inspired to build an empire just cos Daddy has one so I can "make a name for myself"..

But the video's cute! Positive message and all; "Sometimes the loser wins." Being realistic, that has gone to trash. Put up four new ones to constantly remind me.

She's still a bitch to Nick but hey, she's Paris. And for the record (not that it'd really matter anyway) but I dont think Shanna hit her or whatever, and even if she did, Paris probably provoked her. Hello, she was married to Travis, they had a reality show together and I've always thought they were awfully sweet as a couple. (Travis and Shanna not Travis and Paris!)

And! Look! I came across this picture while searching under Lindsay Lohan!

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Ha! I totally bagged this copy lah when I first laid eyes on it at Borders back in 2003. Go me! The rest of the magazine was pretty much redundant apart from the alot-of-pages of the cover girls.

Why was I googling for Lindsay in the first place? Well, cause I kinda miss her cos she's been pretty quiet lately.

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She's not as hot as she was (as in hot, appearing on PITNB every 3 days, hello, have you not noticed? *points above* She's piping hot, people). Definitely not on the same par as Hilton/Richie/Brangelina gang anymore in Celeb News.

All she has to do is go get herself another 40 year old actor who's craving the limelight once more. Ya hear Bruce?

Books are driving me insane. Chemistry is really argh. Maths.. well, there's this sorta rhythm about this peculiar subject which I detest the Greeks for though I think it's cool that supposedly their language's the hardest to master, and their houses are arranged so similarly yet differently!

(offtracking, and I wonder why the marker commented that I went out of point in my essay)


Bathed Kieffy just now. You know, even my cats use (fur) conditioner! That's my girl! She was quite obedient today. Even though I shampoo, rinse, shampoo, rinse her using a shampoo meant for white coated persians, I still cant get rid of her yellow spots!

Should I try to do the Lit Unseen work Mrs Peh gave us? Hm. She has been nice.. So maybe one will do?

Okay, gotta go now. The laxatives I've taken in in the past 3 hours (read:tea, coffee, coke) are doing a fine job. Oh yeah! Hello Mrs Chew! Sorry for updating lah. Once in a while only! (; AMATHS=COOL. (suck up I know)

10:16 PM

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03 October 2006

On the verge of losing it

So things (generally) haven't been all that fab. Am I gna address all that? No. Anyway, so my brother very enthusiastically got Koko a cat collar (not a dog one it's written on the package "cat collar").

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(the lamp looks freaky cool) And since then, she'll move about for no reason just to hear the bell jingle. (:

9:22 PM

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02 October 2006

Obsession kicking in good

You've got to see this. I couldnt stop laughing. Major dorks, I swear. Just the way I like them. :D

On the set of "Drowning"

10:50 AM

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01 October 2006

You become whoever raises you

A very Happy Childrens' Day to you guys. We're all still kids at heart. Kid kid. Childish and immature. Now where's that very big and very pink Barbie doll house my father bought me?!

Today, or rather night has been very eventful. A lot of words exchanged, a lot of drama, a lot of tears, a lot of shouting, a lot of rediscovering, a lot of love. Sometimes, I dont know what to make of my family. Crazy, perhaps.

So maybe I'm harsh sometimes. Tactless, even. But I dont get it! And for god's sake, it's funny how I have to be the one relenting and so not retaliating (at all; I stood there staring past/through you) and I'm 8 years younger than you. Hello. You seriously think I cant have a war of words with you and not have a fair (dare I say good) chance of winning?!

Class? None. I felt really really insulted outside that car building. (We were looking around for a new car after breaking fast at this Thai place) You did not have to come at me like that. I was pretty damn offended thank you. But still I held it together, sucked in my pride, put on that "mature face" and tried my darn best to look as nonchalant as I could. You dont deserve the satisfaction that you got me. And you got me good.

What's worse, my whole family witnessed it and none of my parents did anything about it! (or so I thought) I felt so abandoned! Like I wasnt worth defending or something.

On the way to the other car place at Bukit Timah, I got lectured by Mother. I suppose she is right. Not that I'm entirely wrong lah. I guess I still have to work on my mouth and its dangers.

You know, adults say they cant stand the "varnish" to quote Krishna. But when you state facts, they take it so fuckin' personally. I dont get it. They say honesty's the best policy. Darn right I am, for not believing that bull. Cos when I tried it, it blew up in my face.

Well, thank god for waterproof mascara.

There I was, sitting on the curb, with my brother, tears still rolling, at the petrol kiosk having drivers stare at me with pity (yuck, do not need pity thanks) when they drive pass, (while my parents have a private talk) when she smsed me. Was really surprised she initiated it.

After putting two and two together, realised that my dad did defend me. He defended me like crazy when he talked to her one on one. He defended me so much he ended up in a fight with her and it appears, from her messages that she doesnt ever want to see him again. Ever.

And you expect me to not feel guilty?! I'm bathing, drowning in guilt now. I want to play the peacemaker but um, not exactly easy seeing that I caused it you know?

My mom told me that he could not accept the way she talked to me (shouted/put down/insulted) and was merely waiting for me to be out of ear shot before he gives it to her good. Yes, I'm very touched but I'm also very sorry.

I mean, just when things were getting a-okay with her and Pa, this had to happen. And it's kinda my fault? But it's just as much hers. I'm sorry, I have to say that. Nobody knows of the little, "insignificant" passing remarks that are hell sarcastic and of no relevance to anything.

But she did have it hard, and I was harsh and pretty damn tactless (you want it "unvarnished", I'll give you unvarnished).

Well, we made up after exchanging several smses. We cool down as fast as we heat up.

I'm still rather miffed about it actually. Like the way she "bitch-talked" me wasnt justified somehow. I guess I just dont get over things quickly. Taking too long, even. Gosh, I'm lame like that, I know.

What was funny though, was the trip back home. We were at the highway when that board was flashing "Have a pleasant day!". I couldnt help laughing out loud in disgust. Man, the irony. My mum just turned around and gave me the "how exactly can you find humour in a situation like this!?" glare.

I love my dad. Pa, I love you. Even though my supposedly "bad traits" were handed down straight from him and how I promised myself a year ago that I wouldnt ever turn out like him.. Guess you cant hide from your genes. Instead, you gotta work with it. Work around it.

Suppose you could say I learnt more about myself after the whole episode. Thinking back, even though it was only a couple of hours ago, some things I said to my mum were so darn childish. Ew, I gross myself out.

Only losers go back to something that cannot be helped, to support their stand. For example, when this bitch says something hurtful yet witty and it is the truth, and it so happened you've got nothing to say cos she's does have it all, so you say something like "but well, your nose is incredibly fugly!".

That's unclassy to the max man. Well, I havent been very graceful of late. :X Gotta do something about that. Karma does bite you back in the ass. And it bites you hard. You do something of 2 on the "bad scale" and it comes around a 4 on you. Not very pleasant.

Okay, I totally embarrassed myself in front of so many people. The whole tear-stained-cheeks-red-eyed-accentuated-puffy-eyebags-rudolph-nose look is disgusting. Even that car dealer guy was going all "Jangan nangis eh, dik" (Dont cry okay, girl) and he doesnt even know me. Just show us the car dammit and get out of my face. He probably was just being nice.

It is true. You become versions of your parents whether you like it or not. God she was really like her mum when she spat at my face, as in shouted right at my face, not spit spit.

Think happy thoughts Huda..

Nick's booty! It's your duty duty to shake your booty booty! I'm trying to psycho my mum into getting the digital box so that I can get E! so I CAN WATCH HOC! <33

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Night all. Nick Carter lovin' forever! Yay.

PS: I need to put in some loud angry songs in my phone (Yup, Linkin Park would be great right Rachel?) cos it's hard to experience and "indulge" being pissed off when the "angriest songs" are from Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake. :/ And 75% of my songs are mellow which only calms you down which sometimes isnt what you want. *shrugs

11:17 PM

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Name: Huda
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If there's one word to describe this girl, it'd be loud. She's easy going and incredibly fun. She'd like to think of herself as approachable (though some claim she looks arrogant and/or fierce). She's highly opinionated and outspoken. Friends insist she's fickle and whines an awful lot. At times, acid-tongued, especially when provoked. A hopeless romantic, that she is. A dreamer. Her mood and emotions fluctuate about in this outrageous manner. Pretty bubbly, loves a good conversation anytime, anywhere. She appreciates beauty of all forms. Quite the idealist, an avid mind wanderer, she'd say. She also finds the horoscope incredibly fascinating. Trust me, you'll love her, if you don't already do. (:

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