27 July 2005
i'm beginning to think that blogger is really screwed. wait. can they sue me for tt?? think so. whoops. so anyways, nowadays, whenever i sign in, they'll crap abt the "no cookies". argh!!! i checked everything ok. the java script thing, cleared my cache!!! checked EVERYTHING. i refreshed and refreshed AND refreshed. and the thing's still cocked up. how pissing. so then i opened a new window. and TA-DAH!!! it's all fine and dandy. nonsensical.
woke up at 6 again today!!! so yeah, didnt make it for apt. heard dina and siewhwee debriefed delphinus.
today was pretty alright i suppose. the norm. there'll be quite a load of tests next week. eeeks. gross.
ohyes!! i think i shld try keeping my mouth shut? lol. first, i laughed at clara's pimple on mon. and yest, a HUGE zit appeared out of no where. accompanied by TWO other smaller ones. great. and then i gloated to jazzy that i hardly get menstrual cramps. and the next thing i know, i'm feeling this crap of a contraction. ugh.
so then i was bored. so i went ard checking out jokes. and some were damn hilarious. probably looked like a goon laughing my head off in front of the com. lol. so yeah, here are a few. i just love blonde jokes. what a laugh. x)
A blond is driving down a deserted highway when she gets pulled over. The cop gets out of his car and asks if she has been drinking and she replies "No". So he radios the station and asks what to do. The cop at the station says "Is she a blond driving a lipstick red corvet?" and the cop replies "Yes". So the other cop says "What you do is tell her to get out of the car and pull out your dick as you walk up to her". So the cop does exactlly what the other cop says. The blond gets out of the car and he whips out his dick. The blonde sighs and says "please not another breathalizer test."
A girl's first time
As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.
He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.
He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.
He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-he's done this many times before.
His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you.
After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.
You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.
Naughty, Naughty! Excuse me, What were you thinkin'?
The confused shopper
Billy was on holiday in America and didn't speak very good English. It was his last day and he was heading to the airport to fly home, but first he needed to buy a few things.
He ends up going to the store and asking the clerk for some "BUM". She sits there and thinks for awhile and then says, "Oh you must mean gum."
Then he goes to the fish store and askes if he could get some "FUCK IT". The fish man thinks and says, "Oh I get it, you must mean Bucket (bucket of fish)"
Billy shakes his head as YES.
Then he makes a trip to the pet store and says, "Could I get a cock and spank it?" The pet store owner says "Oh you must mean Cocker Spaniel."
Billy shakes his head YES.
He finally makes it to the airport where he will be catching his flight. When he gets there he askes this guy...
"Could you hold my bum and fuck it while I get my cock and spank it"
Why Is Sex Like Riding A Bike
1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.
2. It's best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory.
3. You can do it with no hands, but it's best not to try it until you have a lot of experience.
4. It's easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of experience.
5. You can do it by yourself, but it's usually not as much fun.
6. It's usually hard to control your speed the first few times you try.
7. It's best to have a soft place to land.
8. You don't need any special clothing, but you can get some if you are really into it.
9. If you're with someone who is having trouble keeping up, it's usually best to slow down and wait for them.
10. Most people think it looks easy until they try it for the first time.
11. Once you learn, you never forget how.
12. If you fall off get right back on.
13. If you get a flat, try pumping it back up.
14. Remember to signal before you change direction.
15. Make sure that you've got a firm grip.
16. Sometimes it's nice to have a cushy seat.
17. Once you're over the top, you can just coast the rest of the way.
18. That's why some of them are called Mountin' Bikes.
How to get a nun to get it on with ya
A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop.
When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you." The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."
The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up.
While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.
The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.
After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "
The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"
- Name: Huda
- Location: Singapore
If there's one word to describe this girl, it'd be loud. She's easy going and incredibly fun. She'd like to think of herself as approachable (though some claim she looks arrogant and/or fierce). She's highly opinionated and outspoken. Friends insist she's fickle and whines an awful lot. At times, acid-tongued, especially when provoked. A hopeless romantic, that she is. A dreamer. Her mood and emotions fluctuate about in this outrageous manner. Pretty bubbly, loves a good conversation anytime, anywhere. She appreciates beauty of all forms. Quite the idealist, an avid mind wanderer, she'd say. She also finds the horoscope incredibly fascinating. Trust me, you'll love her, if you don't already do. (:
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