have you ever realised how peaceful the courtyard is when the national anthem is playing during morning assembly?

i kindda like it. you get some peace to reflect and you can actually process your thoughts in a proper fashion while the school supposedly "sings".

when you finally get a hold of yourself, the anthem stops playing and it's time to take the pledge.
and then when the school songs starts to play, "you go wtf?!" cos then you realised you still feeL all those strong emotions.

cos you hate the opposite ends of it all.

the school song's so cheerful, all about "loyalty" and stuff. i seriously felt like taking off my shoe and throwing at the damn speakers!

god.what frustrating crap.

***

today, came to school. first thing that kept going on in my mind was "what the hell happened?" turns out, it was a follow up of yesterday. :(

i hate to feel so many emotions at one go. it's too complicating. wouldnt life be easier if we can only feel one emotion at a time? why does it have to get so complex.

on the other hand, if we are immune to immense feelings of shit, we wouldnt be able to feel such intense feelings about happiness and what nots yes?

*sigh*

obviously i have plenty more to say. LOTS more. but you know what?

i shall just write in on a piece of paper later at home and then burn it.

it'll be a nice sensation to BURN it all away. as usher would put it "gotta let it burn"..

oh and thanks su. felt really comforted just now. :)



maybe shame will help change everything? will it? will it really?