Red Hot Passion
18 October 2005

Happy birthday Xiuqi! Hope you like that spiteful gift! :D Happy birthday day, in advance Mud! You'll be 12 in about half an hour! Omg. Did I actually type that? I mean you'll be 15 in about half an hour! And happy birthday me! Who'll finally turn 15 in about 24 hours and 30 minutes time. <3<3<3!!!


Got back most of the papers.

(You're supposed to read that in this very monotonous way)

The Maths results were expected. But I'm, so disappointed in the English and Literature papers. Sigh. I was counting on them to lift my spirits, knowing full well that they'll be "down in the dumps" after I get the other papers. They are afterall, "my only glory", as Diana says.

I think I've vented enough. Haha. Sorry you poor souls out there who took my shit! :D For being "even more grumpy than usual for Gruda" as quoted by 3c's very own walking dictionary! Stupid Lock. I can't seem to get past how well she did for Lit and Eng!

Life is so unfair!

(Okay, I know it's such an "immature" and overused phrase. But you know. I'm allowed to stoop to such a level sometimes! :D)

Sigh. I think I've had one too many bus rides already. Bus rides, means you're either plugging into some machine which allows you to listen to music, or reading a book, or sleeping or stoning, or staring at all the passengers aboard trying to pry into their minds to get a sneak peak at what they've been up to.

Unfortunately for me, I can mulit-task quite well (self-acclaimed) and so while doing either of those things, I'll still ponder about whatever it is that's on my mind. (Now, aren't I impressive?)

Today, obviously I dwelled on how badly I fared. Typically, I think I overanalysed it. Or something. Ugh.

What if this affects my morale in life, generally? Like what if I get so disheartened I refuse to work hard? What if I decided it's not worth my sweat cos the results end up the same anyway. What if it's a damn vicious cycle that never ceases? Like the poverty cycle? What if being "unsucessful" in life now, is simply a glimpse of the future?


I'm so in for it. Thanks Ma for being the rocking great mum that you are! You're too nice and understanding for a stupid, silly, cynical girl who'll just end up disappointing you over and over again. Like me. So for that, I'm forever sorry.

I just hope I won't just rest on my laurels after deciding that I need change! Slow and gradual, but change all the same. I need to start taking action! Yes I do! It's high time.

I need to do well for Bio. I need to. Cos I put in a lot of hard work, though at the very last minute. Oh well. We'll see.

Oh and I think I can honestly say that Karma has once again prevailed.

I need to learn to shut my trap whenever necessary. I need to learn that being impulsive, though it appears "bold and witty", has a rather long list of aftermath that I'd gladly do without.

But at least I made it clear that you can't push me around like some dumb kitty. (I decided to not use "puppy") I hate it sometimes when the BitchStreak gets restless. It's bad for the soul. Oh you bet it is.

What goes around comes around, what goes up must come down

Well said Alicia Keys. Well said.

11:47 PM

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