Hey all! Heck, do I miss blogging! As I think you have probably guessed, my computer is currently in crap condition. God knows what happened.

Anyway, let's just say the break was pretty cool. An odd sense of being free? Not touching the computer, at all, mind you, had this strange feeling of breaking free. Hah. I know. Weird. But well, like I've said before, people have their own special quirks. Quirks are cool.

I'm over at Aniszah's now. Staying the night. And tomorrow, at the break of dawn, I've to ciao. Cos she has netball, and it'd just be too weird being in her house without her.

Since I last blogged, a lot has happened, I suppose. A lot a lot! Not exactly, the very eventful, like I went out every day or what sort. But the kind that if my computer had not abandoned me and left me stranded, I'd have blogged about it sort.

Hmm, stuff like on Christmas Eve, I went over to Kakak Idayu's and had a great chat with her, Kak An, and their husbands! Hah. But mostly girl talk and advice on..... life? Yup. It was real fun. Issac's sense of humour, is really priceless! Abg Razif's is more of the super dry-lame sort. It was fun. (Reiterating but you know what. I miss typing. So shush you!)

What else? Over the past week or so, I've been talking to my mum loads. About everything under the sun. And I guess, the talks, couldnt be better. Usually, it'd be in the morning, while having the standard toast (with my dad's very own homemade apple jam!) and a cup of coffee. By then, my dad's off to work, and my brother's still asleep. So the two of us would be in th kitchen, with Kieffy eating her breakfast too!

I love the talks with my mum. It's just really enlightening and it gives me that sudden surge of warmth that I suppose only a mother can give. (=

Enough mushy crap, yeah?

Heard the song Goodbye my lover by James Blunt? The one Mischa Barton starred in the video? After watching that video, plus finally finishing reading the book Mariam lent me, I started thinking a bit further into it. The topic of infidelity, cheating, affairs, etc.

What could be the cause? Let's briefly scan through. Bored, not getting the kind of sex you want, the "magic" is lost, things have been too mundane for your liking. Which leads back to being bored and the magic being lost.

It's because you forgot the way things used to be? You cant be that way anymore, for some warped reason? You can't share those dreams anymore? You cant feel that "one" feeling with that other person anymore? Things like commitment, family, work tied you down? You fucking want some fun? You're not pleased like the way you used to be?

Fuck you.

They are merely excuses, hello?! There's not one single REASON for you to cheat. Okay, so you cant share like you used to, the feelings are worn and old and oh what a bore *sarcasm here*. SO? Put some effort! Effort = work. You've played your part at the very least. Whether things can still be salvaged or not, well heck, that's up to fate AFTER you've done your share of effort.

But you know what. I guess to some people, it just isnt worth the effort huh? How could you bloody do that to someone!? Anyone!

Nope, this rage was not accumulated from anything of real life experience, or whatever. It's just that it really pisses me off!

"Oh, I'm not getting what I need so I find it from somewhere else"?! Go ponder. I'm quite confused too. I mean, I suppose sometimes, when you cant even share your dreams and stuff, it really has gone all wrong somewhere somehow. Oh well. I'm just 15 and just questioning.

Here's the lyrics. I suppose, if you look at it from the cheater's point of view, it could make some sense? A little at least. But what about the cheatee's point of view? Well, it's still WRONG. Despite it all. But perhaps different situations call for different... rights and wrongs? Aw man, I don't know!

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.

So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.

I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.

We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you,
I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby,
I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so,
I'm so hollow.