I'll talk about thursday and friday cos I don't quite feel like talking about today. For now.

Thursday. It was one hell of a busy looong day. We had PE third period. And straight after that jogging. It was so fucked up, I swear. 4C was super tired and everyone just felt PMS-y. It was the kind of feeling where you just wanna yell at anybody. But you know it'll make things worse so you shut up. And oh surprise surprise. It made no diff. =/

At least there wasn't Phy after school. Had additional trg (2 pitches only) and then I had to rush off to tuition. At least I managed to do my Amaths hw there. So I can go home and sleep. This week, I think I broke my record. The hours I sleep... amazing I tell you. To question how I got my darn bags... ARGH!

Actually, tuition was pretty good! Differentiation's quite alright.

Walked to Kem Mrt station. And guess who I saw! Mud! Haha. And then suddenly there was this pair of hands on my shoulders "Boo!"-ing me. Freak. Zai's an idiot. They were gonna meet Mariam for the Oasis concert! Darn! But I'd be too shit tired if I went anyway. Doubt I'd be able to enjoy it. (trying to convince myself here)

Friday. I couldn't really think of anything else apart from the prelims, the prelims and oh, the prelims. I was in ohshitfuckdiehow mode.

Things went. I don't know. Below expectations, quite?

The lying down at the small field part was cool and rather soothing, I must say.

Ma'am Tan's darn nice lah. Rachel and I chatted with her for so long at the stone benches, whatever their called. Correcting my reflections! Horrible handwriting, man! (: Then we ended up going for peanut dumplings in bean curd later. (tau huey? tau hui? what?)

Slept at 10.20 to "Crawling Back to You" I think. Cos when I woke up in the morn, the first thing that went through my mind was that song. Followed by that weird dream, which has no relations to prelims, don't worry. But I think it had plenty to do with my anxiety. SHIT.

Okay. You know what. I'm just gonna talk about today.

Reached school ard 6.45, did one final pitch. Fine, okay, put that aside. Things will be different.

We had bean curd, again for breakfast. Tau huey (I dont care lah) rocks man! Woot! Received good luck charms from team mates! I love my purple wooden clip. And oh man, I love my maroon hairband too! The significance... I don't know. That wave of nostalgia when you think about it...

Crazy was in a good mood. In Mariam's words, all's good in the neighbourhood. We looked cool with our colourful hairbands and wooden clips clipped on it like ET! Uber cool okay. (:

In the bus. Passing around good luck goodies! Visualising...

At PA. The exitement and electricity buzzing in the air.You could really feel it. Leaning more towards the excited part. Crazy looked fine to me.

We did our ritual hush-hush. We aren't attention seekers thank you very much.

Ran out (whateverth for) to the pitch. Cedar screamed like nuts. Realised that there was 4 squads there! Hermes and Crater ma'ams came back. Added pressure. Cool.

The one minute check was so sudden! Ohwell.

*long horn blast*

GO!

*short horn blast*

One more minute!

*long horn blast*

Over!

It was so hard trying to stay strong. It was so fucking hard. Which is why it gave way after sometime. Supressing emotions, is one of the worst things. Ever.

A million and one things running through my mind. Things happened. Some we've never encountered before. It was quite hell. Trying to stay calm and cool is practically impossible. But thank god some part of my brain could still reason and function and act immediately.

I know it seems like just an excuse and that it's pathetic, but the cheering kind of did no help. I don't know lah. I mean, yeah it's supposed to encourage and support you. But it sounded like... It sounded like a threat.

Aggressive = Bad

I couldnt turn right. Sitting there being judged. I knew that at one glance, it'll just all fall apart. But couldnt ignore squadmates' callings lah. Then yeah.

Everything was running through your head all at once. It's pretty overwhelming. But well, deal with it.

Period + This = Emotions Going Haywire

Everyone was just so down low. I mean duh. 3 months plus! Sigh. It's not easy okay.

I really felt like... I didnt thank god. It really is all very frustrating.

Swensons was alright. Ice cream's good for the mood. Two earthquakes. My god. (:

Trying my darnest to hold on to the intangibles. At least learn something from Krishna! He did put me through hell on friday trying to complete that darn essay! But it's uh. Easier said than done.

The only thing we can do now I guess is to hope for the best but prepare for the worst and then move on.

Describing how I feel now, would be impossible.

But then again we make the impossible possible. *rueful smile